Wandering in Wonderland
by Erin T. Aardvark
Summary: The Impossibles chase a rabbit robber down a rabbit hole and wind up in Wonderland
1. Bunny Burglar

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: While I was playing with "The Wizard of Paws," I thought I'd do an "Alice in Wonderland" story using HB characters, but I changed course when I couldn't figure out the casting. This story uses elements mostly from the 1985 Irwin Allen TV movie version of "Alice in Wonderland," but, as always, with my own spin on things. You'll see what I mean as the story progresses. As always, The Impossibles and Big D belong to Hanna-Barbera. Characters from "Alice in Wonderland" belong to Lewis Carroll, and any other characters you run into belong to me._

* * *

Our story opens today in London, where the Impossibles were inspecting a robbery at a local jewelry store. The place had been broken into, and the jewels were scattered all over the place, but strangely enough, nothing had been taken.

"There's no clues showing us who might have done it," Multi Man said, inspecting the broken window. His pet puppy, Skittles (in her superhero form, Impossi-Pup), was sniffing around the floor, looking for clues.

"There's got to be at least a million dollars worth of jewels here," Coil Man said, going through the jewelry on the floor.

"What gets me is why would someone break in, tear the place apart, and not bother to take anything?" Fluid Man asked.

"Beats me, governor," the owner said. "The same thing has been happening all over London! The thief breaks in, messes the place up, but by morning, nothing is missing."

"Maybe the thief is looking for something in particular," Multi said. "That's the only reason I can come up with for not stealing any of these jewels."

The other two Impossibles agreed, and they left the store. There wasn't anything else they could do there. When they returned to the Impossi-Mobile, they called into their chief.

"Hi, Big D," Coiley said. "Just checking in. We still haven't found any leads to these strange jewelry store break ins."

"Yeah, none of us can understand it," Fluey said. "Whoever's behind it just breaks in, messes the place up, and leaves without taking anything! It doesn't make sense!"

"I have a theory that they're going after something in particular," Multi said. "But I don't have the slightest idea what."

"London isn't the only place that's been having a string of break ins, boys," Big D said. "These have been happening all over England. And not just jewelry stores, either. Private homes have been broken into as well, though nothing has been stolen. I've just received word that someone tried to break into the Tower of London."

"The Tower of London?!" Coiley shouted.

"We'd better step on it!" Multi shouted.

"Rally ho!" the boys shouted in unison, and took off toward the Tower of London.

The Tower of London had been closed to the public that morning, because of the break in. Thankfully, all of the Crown Jewels were there (albeit all over the floor), though the boys couldn't believe it!

"I don't understand any of this," Multi said. "You would _think_ that whoever is breaking into these places would be _taking_ some of the jewels!"

"Especially here," Coiley said. Then he turned to the guard. "You're positive _nothing_ was taken, sir?"

"Positively," the guard said. "I make sure that every single piece on display is there both before, and after exhibition."

"This mystery is getting more mysterious by the minute," Coiley said.

"And it's making me almost positive the crook is after something in particular," Multi said. "But what could it be?"

The Impossibles then left the tower, and went back to the Impossi-Mobile. No sooner then they had started it up, Big D called in.

"Boys, I have another call in about these strange break ins," he said. "The latest incident is from a jewelry store in a small town called Weschester-on-Worschester."

"Gesundheit," Fluey commented. "We're on it, chief, Impossibles out."

"Rally ho!" the trio shouted, and converted their car to jet mode, to get to Weschester-on-Worschester.

Once they arrived, the boys found the local jewelry store, which pretty much looked like every jewelry store they found in London.

"Wow!" Fluey shouted, looking around this one. "Looks like the proverbial bull in the china shop here!"

"Strangest thing I've ever seen, blokes," the owner said. "Looked like this when I came in, it did! Window smashed, and jewels all over me floor . . . . . and they didn't take anything! Not one thing!"

"I guess there's only one thing to do," Coiley said. "Figure out where this crook is going to strike next and catch him in the act. Are there any other jewelry stores here?"

"No, yank," the owner of the story said. "What with a small town like this . . . . wait, you boys might try looking in on Alice Hart. I hear she's got quite a collection."

The shop owner gave the boys Alice Heart's address, and they took off for her place, completely baffled over this whole case. The trio (quartet, if you include Impossi-Pup) arrived at Alice Hart's residence, which was on a small estate, just outside of Weschester-on-Worschester.

"I hope we get some clues soon," Fluey said. "How else are we going to solve this case?"

"That's for sure," Multi said, knocking on the door. A few moments later, a woman, who looked like she was in her mid-fifties opened the door.

"May I help you, gentlemen?" she asked.

"Are you Alice Hart?" Multi asked.

"Yes," the woman said, a little uncertainly. "Who are you?"

"We're the Impossibles," Coiley explained. "We're investigating a series of break ins across England. The owner of the jewelry store in town told us to come see you. He said you have a jewelry collection."

"Yeah, you might be the next target," Fluey said. "Do you mind if we have a look around?"

"No, not at all," Ms. Hart said, and stood back so the boys could come in and investigate. "Though I can't imagine what in the world made the jewelry store owner think I have a jewelry collection. I mean, it's nothing more than costume jewelry. It's all upstairs in my bedroom."

"Would you mind if we had a look, anyway?" Fluey asked.

"Go right ahead," Ms. Hart said. "Just go up the stairs and all the way down the hall."

The boys and Impossi-Pup then headed upstairs. They found Ms. Hart's bedroom, and opened the door. What they found inside surprised them.

"Hollerin' hi-fi's!" Multi shouted, and he immediately closed the door. "Did you guys see what I saw?!"

"I saw it, but I don't believe it!" Fluey shouted.

"Open the door again, Multi," Coiley said. "Maybe we're just seeing things."

Multi nodded, and opened the door again, slowly. The boys realized they _weren't_ seeing things. On the dresser was a white rabbit, wearing a waistcoat, and he was stuffing items of Ms. Hart's jewelry box into the pockets of his waistcoat. After a few moments, the rabbit then reached into his pocket, and pulled out a large pocket watch.

"Oh my fur and whiskers!" he shouted. "I shall be late if I don't hurry!"

The rabbit then stashed his pocket watch, and continued grabbing the jewels out of Ms. Hart's box. Once he was finished, he hopped onto the bed, and out the window. The Impossibles raced in, and ran to the window.

"Man, I've heard of cat burglars, but bunny burglars?!" Fluey shouted.

"We'd better catch him before he gets away!" Coiley shouted.

"Rally ho!" the trio shouted, and raced out of the house after the rabbit robber.

As the rabbit was making his get away, he had the distinct feeling he was being followed. He looked over his shoulder, and found three of the strangest looking creatures he had ever seen, running after him.

"Yipe!" he shouted, and he began running faster.

"Stop, thief!" Coiley shouted. "In the name of the law!"

"I can't stop now, gentlemen!" the rabbit shouted. "I'm late for an important date, you see!"

"You're late for a date with a judge, rabbit!" Fluey shouted.

"I'm afraid you don't understand!" the rabbit shouted. "No time to stop and chat, you see! I'm already dreadfully late! Goodbye!"

And with that, the rabbit hopped into a small hole in the ground. The boys skidded to a halt once they reached the hole. Impossi-Pup barked at it, and began pawing at the hole. It was too small for her to squeeze into.

"Now what?" Coiley asked. "That hole's too small for any of us to fit into."

"Maybe all of us can't," Fluey said. "But one of us can. I can fit down there easily. Let me take care of this one, fellas."

"Okay, Fluey," Multi said. "I think you're the only one who can go after him now. Even with Skittles's super speed, it'll take too long for her to dig herself into the hole and chase after the rabbit."

"Okay, see you guys later, then," Fluey said. "Rally ho ho!"

And with that, Fluey went into a full liquid conversion, and zoomed down the rabbit hole as fast as he could


	2. Doorway to the Unknown

It seemed like that rabbit hole went on forever. Fluey was wondering how deep it actually was!

"Does this thing go all the way to China, or what?" he asked as he streamed downward.

Just as Fluey thought the rabbit hole would never end, it did. Fluey wasn't aware of reaching the bottom of it, until he landed, though.

_SPLAT!_

"Ugh!" Fluey groaned, as he converted back to solid, and rubbed his head. "I _hate_ it when that happens!"

Fluey got up, and began to look around where he landed, looking for the robber rabbit. There were several tunnels in this hole, and that rabbit could have taken any one of them.

"No way I can check all of these," Fluey said. "It would take too long!"

As Fluey was thinking it over, he heard a door slam, and immediately ran toward the source. He found a large door at the end of one of the tunnels, and opened it. Behind it was another door.

"Oh brother," he sighed. "I've just stumbled into _Alice in Wonderland_ territory. Might as well get it over with."

Fluey opened a series of doors, each one smaller than the last, until he got to the last one, and he practically had to enter the room on his hands and knees. He looked around the room, and saw that it contained nothing but a cobblestone floor, hallway of doors, a small table.

"_Now_ which way did he go?" he asked himself. "Looks like I'd better backtrack and look in another tunnel."

Fluey was about to head out the door he came in, when it suddenly slammed shut, and locked. He figured he'd just go underneath it, but there wasn't any room for him to go under in a liquid conversion.

"Well, there goes _that_ idea," he said. "Maybe one of these other doors is unlocked."

Fluey then went around the room, trying each door one by one, but none of them would open. And none of them had any cracks in them so Fluey could convert his way out. But he wasn't licked just yet. He raised his wrist communicator, and began punching buttons on it.

"Fluey to Coiley," he said. "Come in, Coiley."

Unfortunately, all Fluey got was a bunch of static. He had recently received an upgraded communicator, and he knew Coiley and Multi had also received wrist communicators like his, and it was designed to work from even underground, but for some reason, he wasn't getting a signal.

"Great," he sighed. "_Now_ what am I going to do? Not only did I lose that rabbit robber, but how am I gonna get back home?"

Fluey walked around the room, and tried one last door. To his surprise, it was unlocked, but behind it, was an extremely small door, too small for him to fit through, in his solid form, at least.

"Huh," he said. "Who in the world could fit through a door that small? Unless it was built for a mouse or something, but that's definitely my way out! I may not be able to fit through it now, but once I go into a fluid state, I'll be able to fit through it no problem!"

Fluey turned the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge. Somehow, this didn't surprise him. He stood up, and looked around the room again. He finally noticed something on the table, and ran over to it. It was a small key.

"Ah ha!" he shouted. "I'll bet anything this fits that door over there. Only one way to find out!"

Fluey stuck the key into the door, and unlocked it. Behind it, was a beautiful garden, with all kinds of flowers. Immediately, Fluey went into a liquid conversion, and tried to go through the door, but he only ended up hitting some sort of invisible barrier. He tried again, but crashed into this strange forcefield once more.

"Okay," he said, somewhat dizzy. "I'd better figure out another way to do this before I end up giving myself a concussion."

Fluey heaved a sigh, closed the door, and locked it. As he sat there on the floor, thinking about what to do next, a bottle suddenly appeared on the table. He stared at it for a moment or so, then stood up, and walked toward it.

"Boy, I must've hit my head harder than I thought!" he shouted. He put the small key on the table, and then picked up the bottle.

"Drink me, it says," he said, reading the tag on the bottle. "Well, what the heck. I've seen Disney's _Alice in Wonderland_ about fifty million times. And if I know that movie, if I drink whatever's in this bottle, I'll shrink down, and then I'll be able to fit through the door. It obviously won't let me through while I'm in my converted state."

Fluey opened the bottle, and drank the contents inside of it. Then he put the bottle back on the table, closing it. Almost immediately, he started to get a strange feeling in his stomach. Then, just as he predicted, he started shrinking.

"Yeah, I knew that was going to happen," he said. "Now for the door."

Fluey ran for the door and tried to open it. When it wouldn't budge, he remembered he had locked the door. And he had left the key on the table, as well.

"Well, _that_ was stupid of you, Fluid Man," he said to himself. "Better go back up there and get it."

Fluey went into a partial conversion, and flew to the top of the table. Once there, he tried to grab the key, but he found it was too heavy for him to lift. Still, he tried, only to wind up losing his grip on it. He involuntarily let go of it, and the momentum caused him to splash down onto the floor.

"Ow!" he shouted, once he landed. "Darn it! I'll never be able to lift that key while I'm this small! I guess the only thing to do is try to knock it off the table and drag it to the door."

Fluey backed up to get a running start, converted into liquid, and shot forward as fast as he could, and hit the table. Unfortunately, nothing happened. Fluey tried this method a couple more times, but kept getting the same results. Nothing. Finally, he stopped to catch his breath for a minute. As he sat there, he saw a small box appear by his feet. Inside of it, was a little cake with the words "Eat Me" on it.

"Huh," he said, picking up the box. "In Disney's version, it was a cookie. I wonder if it'll have the same results, though. Only one way to find out."

Fluey opened the box, picked up the cake, and took a bite out of it. After a moment or so, he got that strange feeling in his stomach again. This time, though, instead of shrinking, he started growing. And he didn't stop until he hit his head against the ceiling.

_BANG!_

"Ouch!" he shouted, rubbing the top of his head. "Boy, a little of _that_ sure went a long way!"

As Fluey sat there, trying to get his bearings after that one, another one of the doors opened, and in hopped the bunny burglar, and he seemed to be plenty nervous.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!" he shouted, looking at his watch. "The duchess will be mad for being kept waiting!"

"Hey!" Fluey shouted. "Hold it, buster!"

The rabbit stopped, looked directly at Fluey, screamed, and began running in the opposite direction, dropping a fan, and a pair of gloves on the floor.

"Oh no you don't, fella!" Fluey shouted, going into a conversion. "You're not getting away _that_ easy!"

Fluey raced after the rabbit, but he was a little too late in catching it. The rabbit slammed the door shut, and Fluey crashed right into it.

_KER-SPLAT!_

Fluey wound up splashing all over the room, and stayed in his liquidized state for a moment or so, before reverting back to solid.

"Yeah, this is gonna get old pretty fast," he muttered, rubbing his head again. "That rabbit's nothing but a headache!"

Fluey then reached down, and picked up the rabbit's gloves and fan, and put them on the table.

"I wonder if there's anything left in the bottle?" he asked. "I gotta shrink down a little."

Fluey then grabbed the bottle from the table, and drank a little more out of it, shrinking down to the size of a mouse.

"Not what I was hoping for," he groaned.

Fluey sighed, and walked around the room a little, until he noticed a crack in the wall, covered by some sort of plant. He pushed through them, trying to see what was behind them, when he suddenly lost his balance, and fell down into a river, filled with what looked like green water.

_SPLASH!_

"This is weird," he said, swimming around a little. "I've never seen green water before . . . . . except when I've converted into fluid. Wait a minute, this isn't a river! This is the liquid residue from when I splashed into that door while trying to catch that rabbit! It must've run down the floor and out of that crack. Man, that would be a weird way to go. Drowning in my own element."

Fluey swam around a little more, when he heard some loud splashing nearby. Quickly, he swam toward a tree branch, and clung to it for the moment, not sure what the heck was coming. He heard quite a bit of squawking, and then saw three very large birds floating by, all of them in an uproar.

"Darndest thing I've ever heard of!" one shouted. "One minute we're all on dry land, and the next minute here comes a flash flood!"

Fluey just stared after them, not sure what to think. Then he saw another one float by.

"Hey!" he called out. "Hey you!"

"Who me?" the bird asked.

"Yeah, do you have any idea how to get outta here?"

"Sorry, kid. I'm a stranger here myself."

With that the bird floated off after the other three. Fluey groaned, and was about to convert into his fluid state in order to get out of this river, or whatever it was, when he heard more splashing going on. He turned to look and saw a mouse coming by, frantically trying to stay afloat. He grabbed onto the branch, and tried to catch his breath.

"Hey, fella," Fluey said. "You know how to get out of here?"

"No . . . ." the mouse said. "I don't know anything! I don't even know how to swim! Get me outta here!"

"Hang on, fella, I can get you to shore in no time! Rally ho ho!"

Fluey went into a full conversion, and flew to the shoreline, taking the mouse with him. Once they were there, they found the four birds there as well, all running around, squawking, and shaking water out of their feathers. The mouse began doing the same thing, except he was shaking water out of his fur.

"Hey, have any of you guys seen . . . ." Fluey began, but his sentence was cut off by the extremely loud squawking.

"Hey!" he shouted, a little louder to get their attention. "Have any of you guys seen . . . . ."

Fluey was cut off again by the birds loud squawking. It was clear he wasn't going to get anywhere with them.

"Forget it!" he shouted, and he started walking away. "It's obvious I'm not gonna get anywhere talking to them!"

Fluey began walking down a path. After all, he had a bunny burglar to find


	3. Rabbit Seasoning

Fluey continued walking down the path, trying to figure out where that darn rabbit had gotten to, as well as a way out of this place. As he was wandering, he heard something in the distance.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear . . . . ." a voice said. "Oh my fur and whiskers . . . . the duchess will sure have me executed now . . . . ."

"Ah ha!" Fluey shouted. "The rabbit robber."

Fluey went into a partial conversion, and flowed toward the path, blocking it. The rabbit kept right on hopping, but he skid to an abrupt halt when he saw his path was blocked.

"Okay, rabbit, I've gotcha now," he said.

"I can't talk right now!" the rabbit shouted. "I simply _must_ get to my house and fetch a pair of gloves and a fan . . . . I'm late enough as it is . . . . ooohhh, darn that Mary Ann . . . . . it just _has_ to be her day off today . . . . . I must hop to it! Oh, oh wait . . . . . would you be so kind, and fetch them for me? Quickly, quickly now! Mustn't dawdle about! I'm already quite late!"

"Look, buster, you're already in a peck of trouble so . . . . . ."

"Hurry! Hurry!"

Without another word (and probably caught up in the moment), Fluey suddenly found himself running for the rabbit's house, in order to get his gloves and fan. About halfway there, he suddenly realized what he was doing and stopped.

"Wait a minute . . . . ." he said. "What am I doing?! Boy, when I get my hands on him, I'm gonna . . . . ."

Fluey let out a frustrated groan, and started to storm back from where he came, in order to give that rabbit a good thrashing, when he suddenly got a better idea.

"Maybe if I reach his house first," he said. "If he's expecting me to come back after looking for a pair of gloves for him, and I don't show up, he'll wind up coming back himself."

Fluey managed to flow ahead of the rabbit, and reached the house in question. He went up to the roof, and down the chimney, converting back into solid once he was inside.

"Now all I have to do is wait for our bunny burglar to come for his gloves," he said. "Of course, once I _do_ catch him, there's still the problem of getting back to Ms. Hart's . . . . . not to mention how I'm gonna explain this to Big D. He's definitely not gonna believe _this_ one, that's for sure!"

Fluey explored the room a little while he was waiting. He found a glass bottle sitting on a table, with a label that read "Drink Me."

"Oh no, I'm not falling for _that_ again!" he shouted. "Something's gonna happen, I know it. On the other hand, I've already shrunk down about as small as I could possibly get. And I'm getting thirsty from all that chasing around."

Fluey weighed the options, until finally, his thirst got the better of him. He opened the bottle, and drank some of the liquid inside of it.

"Not bad," he said, putting the stopper back in. "Though I think I'd rather have a chocolate milkshake about now, but that didn't taste too . . . . ."

Fluey's sentence was cut off when he realize he was suddenly starting to grow again, and wound him banging his head against the ceiling.

"Holy Mesopotamia, here we go again!" he groaned.

And, just Fluey's luck, there wasn't any room for him to convert his way out of the house. At that moment, the rabbit, who had gotten impatient, came to his house to see what was keeping his fan and gloves, only to find his window opening, and an arm coming out from it.

"YAAAAHHHHH!" he shrieked in terror. "THERE'S A MONSTER IN MY HOUSE! A HORRIBLE, UGLY, GREEN MONSTER IN MY HOUSE!"

"Hey, you're no Charlton Heston, yourself, fella!" Fluey shouted back.

Fluey looked out the window, and saw the rabbit robber leave, and a minute or so later, he returned with what appeared to be a lizard with a ladder.

"Bill, go up there and down the chimney and get that monster out of my house!" the rabbit shouted.

Bill said nothing, and put the ladder against the house, climbed it up to the roof, and started to go down the chimney. Unfortunately, the minute he was into the chimney, he wound up pushing a cloud of soot through the fireplace, and into the room.

"Uh oh . . . ." Fluey said, as he was hit in the face with that cloud of soot. "Ah-ah-ah-_choo_!"

Unfortunately for Bill, the force of Fluey's sneeze sent him back up the chimney entirely. Then he wound up crashing at the feet of the rabbit.

"Sorry, your honor," he groaned, as he stood up. "Now what?"

"Well . . . . ." the rabbit said. Then he gathered up some rocks and began throwing them into his window. Bill did the same.

"Hey!" Fluey shouted, as one of the rocks hit him square in the goggles. "You guys _know_ that's not gonna do anything, don't you?"

Fluey was about to take a couple of the rocks and hurl them back, when he noticed they had changed into small, round cakes. He picked one up and looked at it.

"This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder," he said. "But if I ever want to get out of here . . . . . ."

Fluey took a bite out of the cake, and immediately shrank back down to the size he was when he entered the rabbit's house. Then he converted into liquid and flowed out the window.

"Okay, rabbit!" he shouted, converting back into solid. "Let's get this show on the road. You're . . . . ."

"Late!" the rabbit suddenly shouted. "Oh goodness, oh gracious, oh my fur and whiskers! I must be going now, or else the duchess is sure to have my fur and whiskers! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!"

And with that, the rabbit ran off again. Fluey heaved a frustrated sigh, and took off after him once again, but wound up losing the bunny burglar when he reached a grove of large mushrooms.

"Now where is he?" he asked. He sat down on one of the mushrooms and sighed. "I'm never gonna find him at this rate."

As Fluey was sitting there, contemplating on which way to go next, he heard a loud cough nearby. The dark-haired Impossible suddenly jumped to his feet, and began looking around, ducking underneath a larger mushroom cap, until he realized the coughing was coming from the top of that large mushroom. Slowly, Fluey crawled out from underneath the mushroom, and looked over the edge of it. There, he saw a gigantic blue caterpillar laying on top of the mushroom, and smoking a hookah, and choking on the smoke as well.

"Hey, fella, you might want to think about cutting down on your smoking," Fluey said.

"Who are you?!" the caterpillar shouted, a bit startled.

"Oh, nobody special," Fluey shrugged. "Just the Incredible Shrinking Teenager, the way I've been changing size around here lately."

"Explain yourself!"

"You want the long version or the short version? I'll give you the short version. I've been chasing this white rabbit who stole some jewels, and now I've lost him. Maybe if I were my regular height . . . . ."

"Why?"

"Well, let me level with ya, pal, being only three inches tall is a pain in the neck, and . . . . ."

"Well! _I_ happen to be three inches high, and I think that it happens to be a very good height! Har_umph_!"

And with that, the caterpillar took a drag from his hookah, and blew the smoke out of his mouth, but when he did, there was a loud explosion. When the smoke cleared, the caterpillar, and his hookah, had disappeared.

"Boy, I've heard of coming and going in a flash, but that was ridiculous!" Fluey shouted. "Oh well. I'd better keep going. I've got a rabbit to find."

Fluey kept right on walking, until he came across a large, manor house in the distance. He heard something coming and ducked behind a tree. What appeared to be a frog, dressed as a footman or something, came down another path, walked up to the gate of the manor, and rang the bell. Another frog footman came out and met the other frog at the gate.

"An invitation to the duchess from the queen to play croquet," the first frog said, giving an envelope to the second frog, and then leaving.

The second frog took the invitation, sat down on a stool outside the gate, and fell asleep, snoring loudly.

"Duchess, huh?" Fluey said. "Well, if that robber rabbit is around, he might be after her jewelry. I'd better go in there and check this out."

Fluey went into a liquid conversion, and slipped past the frog footman easily. He flowed to the doorstep, and knocked on the door using the door knocker. The next thing he heard was a crash from the other side of the door.

"What the heck?" he asked. He grabbed the doorknob, and, finding the door was unlocked, opened it slowly, and looked inside. There was a woman standing behind a stove. She grabbed a plate, and hurled it.

"Yikes!" Fluey shouted, slamming the door shut, just as the plate hit the door and smashed to pieces. He opened the door again, and slowly made his way inside. Next to the kitchen set up, he saw a woman, who was rocking a crying baby.

"Whoa!" Fluey shouted, as he walked toward the table, and wound up with a face full of pepper. "Hey, lady, I think you've got too much pepper in that soup!"

"Not in _my_ soup!" the cook shouted, and threw some pepper onto the baby's blankets, causing it to both cry and sneeze hysterically. The other lady (Fluey assumed she was the duchess) wiped the pepper off, grabbed a baby bottle, and practically shoved it into the baby's mouth. The cook grabbed another plate and hurled it at the wall.

"Hey, be careful!" Fluey shouted, cringing at the noise. "You're acting pretty hateful to that baby, you know."

"Hmph," the duchess grumbled, practically dropping the baby into the cradle. "If everyone minded their own business, this world would go around a lot faster than it does!"

"Yeah, well . . . ." Fluey said, but he was cut off by the cook, who tossed another plate at the wall. That only got the baby started up again. The duchess groaned, and began kicking the cradle.

"Whoa, whoa, hold it, hold it!" Fluey shouted. "I don't think that's gonna get your baby to stop crying."

"Oh really?" the duchess asked, glaring at Fluey. "I'd like to see _you_ get it to stop! Here, you hold him! I have to go get ready. I'm playing croquet with the queen!"

And with that, the duchess picked up the baby, and practically shoved it into Fluey's arms. Then she went up the stairs. The cook in the meantime, continued to throw dishes into the walls and the cabinets. Fluey was a bit perplexed at their behavior.

"No doubt about it!" he shouted. "I gotta take this baby with me. If I don't these two are likely to kill him!"

That being said, Fluey raced out of the duchess's house, taking the baby with him. The cook didn't seem to notice, as she kept throwing dishes around, and outside, the frog footman was still asleep, so he didn't notice anything, either.


	4. Hare Today Gone Tomorrow

Fluey ran as fast as he could with the Duchess's baby, until he was sure he was far enough away from the manor. Then he stopped to catch his breath, and the baby started fussing again.

"Take it easy, kid," Fluey said. "We oughta be far enough away from that Duchess now."

Fluey began walking again, until he noticed something about the baby's crying. It suddenly didn't sound human. As a matter of fact, the baby's crying began to sound more like a squealing piglet. Fluey stopped, and moved the blankets away from the baby, when it suddenly turned from a human baby to a baby pig!

"What the . . . . ." Fluey started to say. The piglet began squirming terribly, Fluey had no choice but to drop it, and it suddenly ran off.

"Boy . . . ." Fluey said. "Now how do you like that? The Duchess is the mother of a baby pig! Maybe his father's a crashing boar or something. Oh well. I can't stand around here all day and wonder about it. I've got a bunny burglar to find."

Fluey turned around, only to come face to face with a grinning cat, who seemed to appear from out of nowhere.

"Whoa!" he shouted, backing up a bit. Then he got a good look at this cat, and nodded. "A Cheshire Cat if I've ever seen one. Listen, can you tell me which way I oughta go?"

"It depends on where you want to get to," the Cheshire Cat said.

"I don't know, see, I was chasing after this white rabbit, and . . . . ."

"Well then, it doesn't matter which way you go, does it?"

"Yeah, right . . . . . I think I'll just go this way."

Fluey was about to turn down one of the paths, when the cat spoke up.

"The Mad Hatter lives down that way," he said. "If that helps any."

"Mad Hatter, huh?" Fluey asked. "Well . . . . maybe I should go down another way and see who else is around."

"They're bound to be mad, too," the Cheshire Cat said. "Everyone's mad here. I'm mad, you're mad, we're all mad!"

Fluey just gave the Cheshire Cat a weird look, and continued on his way. He didn't know what to think anymore. Down the path a bit, Fluey heard something in the distance. He followed the sound, and looked from behind the bushes. He couldn't see much, but he was able to make out what appeared to be rabbit ears.

"Yeah man!" he shouted. "There's my rabbit robber now! Rally ho ho!"

Fluey went into a full liquid conversion, flew forward, and tackled the rabbit robber, right into a nearby table, knocking it over, and dishes went flying all over the place.

"Gotcha now!" Fluey shouted. "You won't get away from me this time!"

"Here now, what is the meaning of this?!" the rabbit (or rather, whom Fluey _thought_ was the rabbit) shouted.

Fluey was just about to slap the cuffs on the rabbit, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, and found himself staring at a man wearing an extremely large hat, and he didn't look a bit happy.

"What do you _mean_ by intruding on a tea party without being invited?" he asked. "That's very rude, very, _very_ rude, indeed!"

"Sorry, sir," Fluey said, shrugging. "But this is a rabbit robber I've been chasing, and . . . ."

"Rabbit!" the "rabbit" shouted, indignantly. "I'll have you know, young man, that I am _not_ a rabbit! I am a _hare_!"

"Hare?" Fluey asked. He stood up, at got a better look at the person (animal?) he had tackled. It was then he realized that it _wasn't_ the white rabbit he had been chasing after all.

"Oops," he said, sheepishly. "Sorry about that. I didn't realize . . . . . . but, you know what they say about rabbits. Hare today, gone tomorrow. Ha, ha, ha!"

Fluey laughed at his own (bad) joke, while the hare and the man in the hat stared at him, as if a vine was growing out of his ears.

"Ah ha, ha, ha, eeehhhh . . . ." Fluey said, and he stopped laughing immediately. "Tough crowd."

"Really, the very _idea_!" the hare said, standing up and straightening his jacket. "You must be a very ignorant young man not to know the difference between a hare and a rabbit!"

"Well, what _is_ the difference between a hare and a rabbit?" Fluey asked.

"What is the _diff_erence?!" the hare shouted. "Well, hares are much, much, _much_ more clever, handsome, and dignified than rabbits are! Everyone knows _that!_"

"And, apparently, they're also _much_ more modest than rabbits, too," Fluey said, rolling his eyes. "That being said, then excuse me for insulting you. Sheesh . . . . ."

"Well, as long as you're here, you might as well join us for tea," the man said. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am the Mad Hatter, and these are my associates, the March Hare, and the Dormouse."

"Dormouse, huh?" Fluey asked. "He looks like a plain mouse to me."

"A _plain_ mouse?!" the Dormouse shouted, sounding insulted. "A _plain_ mouse?! _Well!_ If you think there's only one kind of mouse, then you have another think coming! Would you like it now?"

"Would I like what now?" Fluey asked, confused.

"Your other think!" the Dormouse shouted. "You have one coming, you know!"

"Sorry I asked," Fluey mumbled under his breath. "Listen, did you happen to see a white rabbit around here?"

"Oh yes," the Mad Hatter said.

"Certainly," the March Hare said.

"Of course," the Dormouse said.

"Great!" Fluey shouted. "Which way did he go?"

"He went that way!" the Mad Hatter, March Hare, and Dormouse shouted in perfect unison, and they each pointed in different directions, then cackled like a group of drunk hyenas.

"I think you guys need to cut back on that tea you're drinking," Fluey sighed.

"Speaking of tea," the Mad Hatter said. "I want a fresh cup!"

"Fresh cup! Move down!" the March Hare shouted, and he, the Mad Hatter, and the Dormouse stood up, and moved down the table. Fluey just stared at them as if they were nuts (which they probably were).

"Yeah . . . ." he said. "Okay, fine."

"Now then," the Mad Hatter said. "Would you care for some wine?"

"No thanks," Fluey said. "I'm too young to drink wine."

"Good," the March Hare said. "Because we haven't got any."

"I beg to differ," Fluey muttered under his breath. "It's probably all in that tea they're drinking. In any case, fellas, I'd love to hang around and all, but I've got a rabbit robber to find."

"Before you go, I want to ask you something," the Mad Hatter said. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"Huh?" Fluey asked, giving the Hatter a weird look. "Why is a . . . . . okay, I give up. Why _is_ a raven like a writing desk?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea," the Mad Hatter said, and he, the March Hare, and the Dormouse began cackling like drunk hyenas again.

"Then why'd you even ask?" Fluey asked.

"Because I was hoping you'd know!" the Mad Hatter shouted.

Fluey just rolled his eyes, and started walking away, just as the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse got up, and started going around the table, pouring tea, spooning sugar, and pouring cream in all the cups, still cackling. Fluey turned back and watched them for a moment.

"That Cheshire Cat was right," he said. "Theycertainly _are_ mad. Heck, they're beyond mad. They're downright looney tunes!"


	5. Hearts

Fluey continued walking along, getting more and more frustrated with this wacky wonderland by the second. He had lost the white rabbit completely, and he had no idea where to go now. Finally, he came across a dead end, but with something odd at it.

"A door in a tree," he said. "Why not? I've seen everything else around here!"

Fluey grabbed the door's handle, pulled it open, and walked through. Once he was through the tree, he found that he was in that garden he saw from the hall of doors.

"Okay, now we're getting somewhere!" he shouted. "I think. Oh well, might as well have a look around, anyway."

Fluey walked around the garden a little, and stopped abruptly when he saw three giant playing cards painting white roses red.

"Hey, fellas," he said. "Why are you painting those roses?"

"Well . . . . . ." one of the cards said. "See, we accidentally planted white rose bushes instead of red ones, and if the queen finds out . . . . ."

"Oh yeah, I remember now," Fluey said, then he made a slashing motion across his neck with his finger. "Off with their heads, right?"

"Right," the card said.

Suddenly, a fanfare of sorts was heard nearby, and the cards rushed over to the garden wall to see what it was about. There they found four trumpeters, and each of them had a flag on their trumpets. One had a diamond, another a heart, another a spade, and another a club on it.

"The queen!" the card painters shouted, nervously.

Once the trumpeters were finished, a large procession came along, mostly with cards, though, Fluey noticed. Then, much to his surprise, in hopped the white rabbit, followed by what looked like the King and Queen of Spades, then the King and Queen of Diamonds, the King and Queen of Clubs, and finally, the King and Queen of Hearts. Fluey got a good look at the crowns the kings and queens were wearing, and he recognized the jewels in them as being the ones the rabbit stole out of Ms. Hart's jewelry box. When the King and Queen of Hearts approached the garden wall, the three card painters immediately bowed, face down right on the ground. Fluey just stood there, staring at them.

"I've heard of hitting the dirt, but that's a little much, fellas, don't you think?" he asked.

"Who is this?!" the Queen of Hearts yelled, so suddenly, Fluey was startled out of about a year's growth.

"Who?" the King of Hearts asked, before he noticed Fluey standing there. "Oh him? I don't know, my dear."

"Hmph," the Queen grumbled, and then turned to Fluey. "You there, child, what is your name?"

"Uhhh, my name is Fluid Man, your majesty," Fluey said, bowing. "But my friends call me Fluey."

"And who are these?" the queen asked, pointing to the three card painters.

"Well, how should I know?" Fluey asked. "I just got here! It's no business of mine who they are."

The queen just stared at Fluey for a good ten seconds, and then glared at him.

"Off with his head!" she shouted.

"Come now, my dear," the King of Hearts said.

"You hear me?!" the queen shouted again. "Off with his head!"

"Oh come on!" Fluey shouted. "You can't chop my head off because of _that_! That's ridiculous!"

"Ridiculous!" the queen shouted. "Well, just for that, off with his head in small increments!"

"Really now, dear," the King of Hearts said, trying to reason with his wife. "After all, he's merely a child and . . . . ."

"Did you think I was under the impression that he was an aardvark or a rutabaga or something?!" the queen shouted. "Of _course_ he's a child, and a very rude one at that! And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's insubordination and impertinence!"

"Uhhh, that's _two_ things, your majesty," Fluey said.

The card painters had to laugh at that one. The Queen of Hearts looked positively steamed by this point, and she glared fiercely at the card painters.

"Off with their heads!" she shouted. "All of them!"

"Of course, dear," the King of Hearts said. "You're right as usual."

"Of course I am, my dear," the queen said. "Didn't I tell you this morning that heads will roll?"

"Yes, dear, but I've noticed that heads do not roll, they just sort of . . . . . clump onto the ground . . . . . and stay there."

"_Yeecchh_!" Fluey cringed, turning his head in disgust.

"Now, where is that impertinent child?" the Queen of Hearts asked, looking around, until she spotted Fluey standing somewhat behind the Queen of Clubs. "Ahh, there he is. Fluid, would you come here a minute, dear?"

"Uhh, yes, your majesty?" Fluey asked, slightly nervous.

"Do you play croquet?" the queen asked.

"No, your majesty," Fluey said. "I've never played it before, and I really don't think I'd be much good at it without my head. Unless you want to use it for the ball."

"Very funny," the queen said, sarcastically.

"I try," Fluey said, shrugging. "But in any case, I can't play, even if I _did_ know how. I'm after a white rabbit that stole some costume gems, and they look a lot like the jewels in your crown."

"Are you implying that the crown jewels of Wonderland are _fake_?!" the Queen of Hearts shouted. "I'll have your head for that!"

"No, I'm just saying . . . ."

"Never mind! To the game!"

And with that, the Queen of Hearts went off to the croquet field, followed by the King of Hearts, the other Kings and Queens, and the cards. Fluey followed as well. He didn't know what else to do. As he was proceeding to the game, the White Rabbit hopped up to him.

"It's a very fine day," he said.

"Yeah, the queen seems to be enjoying it," Fluey said. "She also seems to enjoy chopping off heads."

"Yes, I know, she's very excitable you see. She even ordered the execution of her very dear friend the Duchess!"

"You're kidding. What did she do?"

"It was a _very_ serious offense. She boxed the queen's ears!"

"Seriously? That's kind of stupid if you ask me."

"Please! The queen will hear you! Now, you see, what happened was the Duchess came rather late, and the queen . . . . ."

"What is that?!" the queen shouted, banging her staff against the ground. "Who is doing all that jibbering and jabbering back there?!"

"Oh, errr . . . . ." the White Rabbit said, nervously. "Meaning no disrespect your majesty, errr, jibbering and jabbering . . . . . I was jibbering and the young gentleman was jabbering."

"Well stop it!" the queen ordered. "And come take your places!"

The White Rabbit nodded, and led Fluey over to where the queen was standing. Fluey looked around the field and noticed a flock of flamingoes wandering around, squawking. It was enough to give Fluey a headache! He was still looking around when the Queen of Diamonds came up to him.

"Tell me, Fluid, dear," she said. "Are you a skillful croquet player?"

"Beats me," Fluey shrugged. "I don't even know how to play."

"That may be a fortunate thing," the Queen of Diamonds said.

"How come?"

"Well, the Queen of Hearts always wins, and whenever anyone gets close to beating her, it's always the same thing. Off with their heads! _Kkkkcccchhhh_!"

The Queen of Diamonds made a slashing motion across her throat to implicate her point, which Fluey got right away.

"So, where are the mallets?" he asked, looking around.

"Why, here they are," the King of Hearts said, indicating the flamingoes. "And we use hedgehogs as croquet balls."

"What about wickets?" Fluey asked. "I mean, I may not know how to play, but I _do_ know you gotta hit the ball _through_ something."

"Of course, my boy, of course," the King of Hearts said. "Wickets! Assume your positions!"

And with that, a group of servants bent down, to serve as wickets for the game.

"I had to ask," Fluey sighed, as the queen knocked her hedgehog through the wickets.

Fluey just stood there and watched the game for awhile, when he had the feeling he was being watched. He looked over his shoulder, and saw the face of the Cheshire Cat, grinning at him.

"Oh, hi," he said.

"Hello," the Cheshire Cat said. "Tell me, how do you like the queen?"

"Not at all," Fluey said. "I mean, I've heard the expression heads will roll, but the queen practically _lives_ by it!"

"I say there, boy, who are you talking to?" the King of Hearts asked.

"Oh, just a Cheshire Cat, your majesty," Fluey said, pointing at the cat's head. The Queen of Hearts walked over to see what was going on.

"Oh, my dear, may I introduce to you another one of your subjects?" the King of Hearts asked.

"Ecchh," the queen grimaced. "No you may not. Off with it's head, whatever it is. And off with it's tail. There's more than one way to skin a cat."

In response, the Cheshire Cat hissed at the Queen of Hearts.

"I don't think you'd be able to behead him, dear," the king said. "You can't behead something that doesn't have a body."

"Well you could try," the queen argued. "And who is the owner of this . . . . this monstrosity?"

"I think the Duchess, your majesty," Fluey said. "Maybe you should ask her."

"Very well," the queen said. "Fetch the Duchess and be quick about it!"

As the king and queen left, the Cheshire Cat disappeared. Fluey just stood there, shaking his head. He took his goggles off, and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

"Boy, the guys are _never_ gonna believe this when I get back!" he shouted, putting his goggles back on. "And I've still gotta find out what the deal is with that rabbit."

Fluey was about to walk off to find the White Rabbit again, when he saw one of the Queen of Hearts's servants coming down a stairway with the Duchess.

"Oh, as I live and breathe!" the Duchess shouted. "And I hope to keep it up . . . . . if it isn't the young man I met earlier today. How are you, my dear?"

"Okay, I guess," Fluey said, shrugging. "How 'bout you?"

"You're thinking. That means you forget to talk. I can't think of the moral to that right now, but I'm sure I'll remember."

"Maybe it doesn't have a moral."

"Tut, tut, child. _Every_thing has a moral! If you find it. And the moral to that is 'tis love, 'tis love, 'tis love that makes the world go . . . . ."

"A_hem_," the Queen of Hearts coughed as she approached Fluey and the Duchess. The Duchess immediately stopped singing, and made a small curtsy.

"If it isn't her majesty," she said, a little nervously.

"It is," the Queen of Hearts said. "And that being the case, would you be kind enough to grovel? Grovel right here on the gravel if you please!"

"Grovel on the gravel?" the Duchess asked. "Grovel graveling? I mean, gravel groveling?"

"Geez, and I thought _my_ jokes were lousy," Fluey muttered under his breath.

"I'll give you a choice, Duchess," the queen said. "Either you or your head must be off, at _once!_"

"Well, given the choice," the Duchess said, "I accept your generous offer, your majesty. Ta-ta."

The Duchess then quickly walked off, as fast as she could without running. The Queen of Hearts turned up her nose, and began walking away herself.

"Well," she said. "Bad riddance to good rubbish."

"Uhh, begging your pardon, your majesty," Fluey said, trying to stifle a laugh, "I think you've got that backwards."

"Oh?" the queen asked. "Have I? Bad rubbish to good riddance."

"No, it's good riddance to bad rubbish."

"Hmph. What mockery! Speaking of which, have you met the Mock Turtle yet?"

"Let me think . . . . . a white rabbit, a mouse, a bunch of birds, a caterpillar, a duchess, a crazy cook, a baby pig, a Cheshire Cat, a Mad Hatter, a March Hare, a Dormouse, a living deck of cards . . . . . no, I haven't met the Mock Turtle yet. Then again, I don't even know what a mock turtle is!"

"My dear boy! It's the very thing mock turtle soup is made from! Anyway, you _must_ meet him. Just follow that path down there, and you'll see him. I'd accompany you, but I must attend to some executions."

The Queen of Hearts left the courtyard, while Fluey just stood there and stared at her.

"Mock turtle soup," he said. "Made from mock turtles. Ha, ha, ha, that's very funny. Eeeesh."

Fluey sighed, and then walked down the path in order to find this Mock Turtle. Maybe _he'd_ be able to explain things to him.


	6. Mirror, Mirror

Fluey walked down the path the Queen of Hearts had indicated to find the Mock Turtle, even though he didn't have the slightest clue what he was looking for. He didn't even know what a mock turtle looked like! He stopped suddenly, when he ran across a large creature, that looked like it had the body of a lion, and the head, and wings, of an eagle.

"Yikes!" he shouted. "What the heck are you? Are you a mock turtle?"

"Do I look like a mock turtle?" the creature asked. "Can't you tell the difference between a mock turtle and a gryphon?"

"I don't know," Fluey said. "I don't know what a mock turtle looks like! But I take that to mean you're a gryphon right?"

"The genuine article," the gryphon said.

"Sorry, but the Queen of Hearts said I'd meet the Mock Turtle down this way, not a gryphon."

"The 'Off-With-His-Head' Queen, huh? Let me tell you something kid. That queen is nothing but a flibbety jibbit!"

"A _what_?!"

"A flibbety jibbit. A silly ninny. Those executions she orders never come about."

"Well, then, why does she order them?"

"Why, he asks. Why, why, why! The eternal why of a child!"

"Look, buster, I'm getting pretty sick and tired of being referred to as a child around here! I really don't think that a person of sixteen years would be considered a child, don't you think?!"

"All right, all right. Come on. I'll take you to the Mock Turtle."

Fluey followed the Gryphon further down the path, until they reached another strange creature, who was crying. It had a turtle shell, and the front legs of a turtle, but it's back legs looked to be cow legs, as did it's head. It even had a cow's tail to go with it.

"What the heck is that?" Fluey asked.

"That's the Mock Turtle," the Gryphon said. "And never mind his crying. It's just his morbid imagination. He doesn't really have any sorrow."

"Oh shut up, Gryphon!" the Mock Turtle shouted. Fluey looked over at the Mock Turtle, and studied him carefully.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like one of the Beatles?" he asked.

"No, not at all," the Mock Turtle said. "However, I have been told that I look a bit like Ringo Starr."

"I'm gonna let that one go. So, why are you crying, anyway?"

"I used to be a real turtle, instead of a mock turtle, you see. I remember going to school, and living in a sea shanty . . . . . I didn't like it much. The roof leaked."

Fluey rolled his eyes. He was having a hard time keeping his sanity in check here.

"Boy, this whole trip is _really_ a trip!" he shouted.

"I have an idea," the gryphon said. "Why don't you tell us about your adventures?"

"That would take far too long," Fluey said. "I don't really have time. I'm trying to find this white rabbit. See, he stole some jewels and . . . . ."

"That reminds me of a story," the Mock Turtle said. "Would you like to hear it?"

"Well, see, I don't really have the time to . . . . ."

"Good. I'll tell it."

Fluey heaved a sigh, and sat down on a nearby rock. The gryphon and the Mock turtle sat down as well.

"This is a true story," the Mock Turtle said. "It really did happen. And it happened about maybe forty years ago, far before you were born, I'm sure. You see, there was a young girl who came to visit us . . . . . Alice was her name, I believe . . . . ."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know this story," Fluey said, waving his hand. "Once upon a time, a little girl named Alice followed a white rabbit down a rabbit hole and she found herself in a strange wonderland, where she met a Mad Hatter, a March Hare, and the Queen of Hearts who ordered an execution every hour."

"No, no, this story isn't about _that_ Alice," the Mock Turtle said. "This Alice wasn't a little girl. Matter of fact, she looked to be about your age when she visited us. You see, this girl Alice, she came to visit, and she found herself on the big chessboard, and she reached the eighth square and became a queen. After which, she became involved with the Knave of Hearts, who stole the Queen of Heart's tarts, you see. The same day the Knave of Hearts stole the tarts, the Crown Jewels of Wonderland went missing! We all figured it was the Knave of Hearts who stole them, and he hid them in the tarts. We caught the Knave of Hearts, but we couldn't find the tarts, and Queen Alice was gone as well. So the Queen of Hearts sent the White Rabbit looking for the Crown Jewels of Wonderland. It took him forty years, but he finally found them, and he brought them back just today. He would have been here sooner, but he said there was a strange person chasing him all over Wonderland. He said this person had black hair, green skin, webbed feet, and a bit letter F on his chest."

Fluey realized the Mock Turtle had just described _him_. Now he was more confused than ever!

"Where did the rabbit find the Crown Jewels?" he asked.

"He said he found them in the former Queen Alice's home," the Mock Turtle said. "So he didn't _really_ steal them. He was just taking back what rightfully belonged to the kings and queens of Wonderland."

"So you're saying it was this Alice Hart lady who's the thief?" Fluey asked. "She told me and my friends those were costume jewels!"

"Probably to throw you off the trail," the gryphon said. "Those jewels are real all right. "And you're right about this Alice Hart. Only her name wasn't Alice Hart at the time. It was Alice Dawson."

_That_ got Fluey's attention, considering he knew Big D's last name was Dawson, _and_ he remembered the chief mentioned having a sister, but he never mentioned her name. Fluey decided not to jump to conclusions, since he knew it was a pretty common last name. But it was _still_ pretty confusing.

"The trial's beginning!" a voice called out from the distance. "The trial's beginning!"

"Come on!" the gryphon shouted.

"Why not?" Fluey said, shrugging. He stood up, and followed the gryphon.

Fluey and the gryphon wound up at the palace garden once again, and it looked like a courtroom had been set up. They sat down, and waited for the trial to start. The King of Hearts banged a gavel, and the white rabbit came forward.

"Quiet in the court!" he shouted.

"Please read the accusation," the King of Hearts said. The white rabbit nodded, and opened a scroll.

"Ahem," he said. "The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, all on a summer's day. The Knave of Hearts, he stole the tarts, and took them clean away."

"Looks like they're finally getting around to putting him on trial," the gryphon said. "About time, too."

"Jury, may we have your verdict?" the King of Hearts asked.

"Wait a minute!" Fluey shouted, standing up. "You can't have a verdict yet! I mean, you haven't proven that he _did_ steal them!"

"Perhaps you would like to take the stand?" the Queen of Hearts asked.

"Delighted," Fluey said, and he marched right up to the witness stand.

"And what do you know about this case?" the King of Hearts asked. Fluey thought it over for a moment.

"Nothing," he said, shrugging.

"Nothing whatever?" the King asked.

"Nothing whatever," Fluey said, shrugging again.

"That is very important."

"How can it be important? Besides, I still say you can't have a verdict unless you get some evidence!"

"We all know the Knave of Hearts stole the tarts!" the Queen of Hearts shouted. What more evidence do we need?! Off with his head! Off with his head, I say! I sentence the Knave of Hearts to be executed!"

"Wait a minute, you have to have a verdict before you can sentence him!" Fluey shouted.

"Sentence first!" the Queen of Hearts argued. "Verdict after!"

"You're crazy!" Fluey shouted. "I think you're just about the craziest person I've ever met!"

"You think so, do you?" the Queen of Hearts asked. "You'd better hold your tongue if you know what's good for you!"

"No way," Fluey said, folding his arms across his chest. "Why don't _you_ hold _your_ tongue for a change? It might make this place a lot quieter if you do."

The Queen of Hearts stood up slowly, looking extremely furious. Then she began waving her arms in the air.

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

The Queen continued screaming "off with his head," and the card guards immediately ran for the witness stand. Fluey immediately converted into liquid, and fled the scene.

"Way to go, Fluey," he said to himself. "You just stepped over that fine line! But I'm not gonna let them scare me. After all, they're just a deck of cards!"

Fluey reversed direction, and went into what he called "tidal wave mode," splashing himself right into the card guards, which knocked them off their feet.

"Surf's up, fellas!" he shouted. Then he flowed off, away from the court room.

"After him!" the Queen of Hearts shouted. "Don't let him get away!"

The card guards quickly regained their composure, and ran after Fluey as fast as they could. Fluey converted back into solid for a moment, and he saw the guards right behind him. He went into a partial conversion, and shot forward.

"I gotta get out of here!" he shouted. He streamed forward until he found a tiny crack in a wall of rocks up ahead. He knew the card guards would never be able to fit through something _that_ small, but he could.

"Rally ho ho!" he shouted, going into a full conversion, and he effortlessly slipped through the crack.

The crack in the wall seemed to lead to some kind of tunnel, which led upward. Fluey didn't really care, as long as he lost the cards. Finally, the tunnel ended, and Fluey converted back into solid once he was out.

"Okay," he said. "Finally lost 'em. But I guess the question is where am I now?"

Fluey looked around, and saw a familiar looking house in the distance. It looked like Ms. Hart's house. Immediately, Fluey went into a partial conversion, and streamed directly toward it, as fast as he could. He had a couple of questions for her! Once he got up to the house, he found the door was unlocked, and he went inside.

"Coiley! Multi!" he called out. "Hey, wait until you guys hear this! You'll never believe it!"

Fluey looked around, and noticed that nobody was around.

"That's weird," he said. "Multi and Coiley wouldn't have left without me, would they?"

Fluey continued looking around the house, figuring maybe Coiley and Multi had found out something about Ms. Hart, and had taken her to the local authorities. At least that's what he thought, until he heard Skittles bark. He looked around for the little puppy, until he finally saw her reflection in the mirror. But when Fluey turned to where she was, strangely, she wasn't there in the room with him. Only in the mirror.

"Boy, this day just keeps getting weirder and weirder!" he shouted.

A moment later, Fluey saw Coiley, Multi, and Ms. Hart come down the stairs, talking about the case.

"Hey!" he shouted, tapping on the mirror. "Hey fellas! Hey, can't you hear me?! I'm on the other side of the mirror!"

Immediately, Fluey began banging on the mirror to get his teammate's attention, but it wasn't working. Finally, he backed up, went into a full fluid conversion, and slammed against the mirror at full force. It didn't even make a dent.

"Come on, you guys!" he shouted, going back to banging on the mirror.

Fluey was about to give up, when he saw Skittles suddenly sniffing around the room. Then she jumped up onto the mantle, and sniffed around it a bit. Then she barked, to get Multi and Coiley's attention.

"What's wrong, girl?" Multi asked, as he, Coiley, and Ms. Hart walked over to the mirror. Skittles began whimpering and pawing at the glass.

"It's just your reflection, Skittles," Coiley said, as Multi picked her up and held her. "It's not another dog!"

"Wait a minute," Multi said, suddenly. "Quiet for a second, I think I hear something."

The quartet became silent for a moment, and sure enough, they all heard a banging noise coming from the mirror. To their amazement, the glass began to ripple. When it stopped, instead of their reflections, the group saw Fluey on the other side of the mirror, banging on it.

"Fellas, _please_!" he yelled. "You gotta help me!"

"Fluey?!" Multi shouted, incredulously.

"How in the world did you get on the other side of the mirror?" Coiley asked.

"It's a long story," Fluey said. "But I can't get out of here!"

"How?" Coiley asked.

Before anyone could answer, she was cut off by a loud clap of thunder. It came from her mirror, and she, Multi, Coiley, and Skittles immediately turned toward it. It had become dark on Fluey's side, and thunder and lightning were crashing and flashing.

"I'm getting a bad feeling about this . . . ." Fluey said, nervously.

Suddenly, Multi, Coiley, and Ms. Hart screamed in terror. That told Fluey only one thing. There was something behind him. Nervously, he turned to look, and he also screamed in terror. There was a giant dragon-like creature, with snapping jaws, and long claws. Fluey tried to back away from this thing, but the mirror blocked any means of escape.

"Convert into liquid, Fluey!" Multi shouted. "Quick!"

Fluey went into a partial liquid conversion, and flew upward. The dragon creature growled, and took a few swipes at him. Finally, the dragon grew tired of this. He let out a roar, which caused what appeared to be smoke to come out of his huge mouth, right into Fluey's face. The dark haired Impossible coughed, and tried to wave the smoke out of his face, but it was futile. It overcame him in a matter of seconds, and he crashed to the ground, converting back to solid once he landed. He started to get up, but before he could regain his senses, the dragon smacked him into the wall with his tail, knocking the teen hero out. Then the dragon grabbed Fluey in his claws, and flew off into the distance. The minute it was gone, the mirror rippled back to normal.

"Wh-what _was_ that thing?" Coiley asked, nervously.

"I don't know," Multi said. "But we've got to find a way to get into the mirror and find it!


	7. Through the Looking Glass

Coiley was about to drill a hole in the mirror, when Ms. Hart stopped him.

"Don't!" she shouted. "You can't break the mirror!"

"Why not?" Coiley asked.

"You can't get in that way," Ms. Hart said. "And, if you break the mirror, your friend will be trapped in Looking Glass Land forever!"

"Looking Glass Land?" Multi asked. "How do you know that's . . . . ."

Before Multi could continue, his wrist communicator began beeping. Quickly, he pushed a button on it to activate the screen.

"Multi Man here," he said.

"How's the investigation going, boys?" Big D asked, once he appeared on the screen.

"It's . . . . . . going," Multi said, a little hesitantly. He was pretty sure Big D wouldn't believe what had been going on. "We're still working on it."

"Is Agent Fluid still investigating?"

"Well . . . . yeah . . . . sort of . . . . ."

"I see. Anyway, I was doing some research into the case, and I wanted to ask you, you're currently at the home of someone by the name of Alice Hart, correct?"

Multi and Coiley had contacted Big D earlier, when Fluey had followed the White Rabbit down the rabbit hole they found, just to give him an update.

"Yeah, that's right," Multi said.

"I'd like to speak with her," Big D replied.

"Yeah, okay . . . . . I guess."

Multi took off his wrist communicator, and handed it to Ms. Hart.

"Our chief wants to talk to you, Ms. Hart," he said.

"I can't imagine what for," Ms. Hart said, as she took the communicator. "Hello?"

"Hello, Alice," Big D said. "I thought that was you when I ran the data check."

"Oh . . . . errr . . . . . ahhh . . . ." Ms. Hart stammered. "H-hello, Davis . . . . ahhhh . . . . . this certainly is a surprise . . . . to say the least . . . . ."

"How long has it been, anyway? About what? Forty years?"

Coiley, Multi, and Skittles looked at each other, oddly. They were a little surprised that Big D knew Ms. Hart.

"So now it's Alice Hart," Big D continued. "When did this change take place?"

Ms. Hart became more flustered by the second. Finally, Multi spoke up.

"Uhh, excuse me for interrupting, chief," he said, "but we're a little confused here. How do you know Ms. Hart?"

"Well, I suppose introductions _are_ in order," Big D said. "Boys, I'd like you to meet my sister, Alice Dawson. Or apparently now it's Alice Hart."

"Your sister?" Coiley asked.

"You heard me," Big D said. "My sister, whom I haven't seen, nor heard from, in at least forty years. And I'd like to know why that is."

"Oh, it's a long story, Davis," Alice sighed. "I'll tell you the short version. I got married when I was sixteen, and I left home because I knew Mother and Father, _and_ you, Davis, would pitch a fit if I told them."

"I see," Big D replied. "I'll accept that for right now, Alice, only because I have to get back to work, and let the boys get back to their investigation, but eventually, I would like to hear the long version."

And with that, Big D signed off, and Alice breathed a sigh of relief. Multi and Coiley just looked at her, strangely.

"I have the feeling that the long version has to do with that dragon thing and Looking Glass Land, right?" Coiley asked.

"Right," Alice sighed. "And that wasn't a dragon. That was a Jabberwocky."

"You mean like in the _Alice in Wonderland_ book?" Multi asked.

"Exactly," Alice said, sitting down. "Sit down, boys. I might as well tell you the story."

Coiley and Multi sat down, while Skittles jumped into Multi's lap, and made herself comfortable. Alice took a deep breath and began.

"It all began forty years ago," she said. "I was only sixteen years old. I was on the drama committee at my school, and we were putting on a production of _Alice in Wonderland_, and I was to play Alice. I had been reading the book, but I thought the whole idea of the story was just plain silly. One afternoon, I saw a white rabbit wearing a waistcoat, just like in the book. Curiosity got the better of me, so I followed it, straight down a rabbit hole, and I wound up in a wonderland. While in Wonderland, I met all the characters the Alice in the book met. Then I was in Looking Glass Land, which was basically laid out like a giant chessboard. I unwittingly became a pawn in this strange game of chess, and later became a queen once I reached the eighth square or something like that. Anyway, while I was in Wonderland, I met too men who I became infatuated with. One was the White Knight, and believe me, boys, he was _every_thing a good knight is in the storybooks. Handsome, dashing, brave . . . . . I still swoon just thinking about him. The other one was the Knave of Hearts. I suppose I was one of those teenage girls who was attracted to the 'bad boys,' if you will. In the end, the Knave of Hearts was the one to steal my heart. We were married shortly thereafter, but then came a problem. The Wonderland Crown Jewels had been stolen. My husband told me we had to leave Wonderland immediately. All we took with us were some tarts that he had with them. While we were leaving, we were being chased by that horrible Jabberwocky. My husband gave me the tarts and ran off, and the Jabberwocky continued chasing after me, until I managed to go through a large mirror on the castle wall, which led me home. The Jabberwocky couldn't get through, thank goodness, so he gave up, and the mirror returned to normal. I vowed I'd never go to Wonderland again. Since I still had the tarts, I decided to serve them with dinner that night, considering I didn't know what else to do with them. I didn't know there was anything strange about them, until my older brother, Davis, bit into one, and nearly broke a tooth on it. Hidden inside the tarts were several jewels, which were in the shape of hearts, diamonds, clubs, and spades. I realized then they were the Wonderland Crown Jewels, but they looked like fake jewels to Davis, Mother, and Father, I decided to tell them one of the boys in the play probably hid them in the tarts as a practical joke. I couldn't bear to tell them the truth, especially since Davis had started studying law enforcement at the time. I didn't want to keep the jewels in the house, because I was afraid someone from Wonderland would find their way to my parents' house and put the blame on them, so I left home, and took them with me."

"But why did you tell us they were costume jewels?" Coiley asked.

"I don't know," Alice sighed. "I thought you were from Wonderland, and you wouldn't bother if I told you they were fake. I didn't mean to take them, I really didn't! I was so young, and I thought I was in love, but . . . . . oh, I just didn't know what else to do!"

"Well, we have more important things to worry about than those jewels," Coiley said. "If that white rabbit we found took them, chances are, they've already been returned to Wonderland. Now what we have to do is figure out how to get to Looking Glass Land."

"You have to tell us if there's another way in, Ms. Hart," Multi said. "We've got to rescue Fluey from that Jabberwocky."

"Oh no!" Alice said. "I want nothing more to do with Wonderland! Especially not that Jabberwocky! In any case, you boys told me about your superpowers. He can take care of that Jabberwocky by himself, I'm sure."

"Not when he's been knocked unconscious," Coiley said. "Come on, Ms. Hart, you _have_ to!"

"I am not dealing with that awful beast again!" Alice shouted, standing up. "And if you were smart, you wouldn't either. I'm not going to have anymore to do with this, and that's that! End of discussion!"

And with that, Alice stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Coiley and Multi sighed. Skittles whimpered, and pawed at her master.

"I know, girl," Multi said, picking up his super pup, and hugging her. "But we can't give up. We've got to find a way through!"

While Multi, Coiley, and Skittles were trying to figure out what they could do to get into Looking Glass Land, the Jabberwocky had reached his destination. He landed at the door of an old, dilapidated castle, deep in the woods. The Jabberwocky walked through the door, and down the hallway, until he reached the throne room. Fluey was just starting to regain his senses, just as the Jabberwocky opened the door to a bird cage hanging from the ceiling. Before he could figure out what hit him, the Jabberwocky flung Fluey into the bird cage, and shut the door. Fluey banged his head against one of the bars, but luckily, he wasn't knocked out this time.

"Oooh, my head . . . . ." he groaned. He rubbed his head, grabbed one of the bars on the cage, and pulled himself up.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking around. He saw the Jabberwocky standing there, just staring at the dark-haired Impossible. Fluey glared at him.

"All right, furnace breath!" he shouted. "I'll show you! You can't keep _me_ locked up!"

Fluey was about to go into a liquid conversion to escape the cage, but the Jabberwocky gave it a good, hard whack with his tail. The cage began swinging back and forth. Fluey lost his balance, and wound up banging his head against the bars again, before falling to the floor.

"Ow!" he shouted, rubbing the back of his head. "I'll show you, you overgrown salamander!"

The Jabberwocky then gave a snort right in Fluey's direction. Smoke came out of his nostrils, directly into Fluey's face. The dark-haired Impossible coughed and tried to wave it away, but it was too strong for him. He collapsed to the floor of the cage, unconscious. The Jabberwocky then curled himself up, and went to sleep.

Back at Alice's, Coiley and Multi were studying the mirror, still trying to figure out a way in.

"I'm sure Ms. Hart knows how to get in," Multi said. "She just won't tell us."

"You think maybe she'd change her mind if we told her Fluey's her grandnephew?" Coiley asked.

"I doubt it. Besides, she probably wouldn't believe it. She thinks the three of us are out of Wonderland, anyway."

As the boys were trying to find a way in, Skittles began barking to get their attention. The two Impossibles turned towards her, and Skittles went into her pointer routine (_poing!_), pointing up the stairs, and then she ran up them. Multi and Coiley followed her, and caught up with her at the hallway leading to Alice's bedroom. There were rabbit tracks leading right inside.

"Hey, these must be the White Rabbit's footprints," Coiley said.

"And they came from up these stairs," Multi said. "I don't know why we didn't notice them earlier."

The boys and Skittles followed the footprints up a flight of stairs, and found themselves in the attic. The tracks led directly to an old full length mirror, which seemed to be glowing. Multi and Coiley looked at each other and smiled.

"Something tells me this is our way to Wonderland," Coiley said. "Let's go, Multi."

"Right, Coiley," Multi said.

The two Impossibles each took a deep breath, and stepped through the glowing mirror.


	8. The Garden

Coiley and Multi made it through the glowing mirror, and looked around. They were in a room that looked identical to the one they were just in.

"I wonder if we're really on the other side of the mirror?" Coiley asked.

"Well, there's Skittles in this mirror," Multi pointed out. "And she's not here on this side, and I can't see our reflections in the mirror, so . . . . ."

Skittles started barking just then, pawing at the mirror, and whimpering. She wasn't sure she wanted to come through. But just as she was about to suck it up, and go through anyway, the mirror stopped glowing, and she was stuck on one side, with Multi and Coiley on the other side. She began pawing at the mirror again, only whining this time.

"I guess the portal closed for now," Multi asked. "That's going to make our job harder."

"Yeah," Coiley agreed. "It's not going to be easy finding Fluey without Impossi-Pup's sense of smell."

"You stay here, Skittles," Multi said. "I don't think there's a way for you to get in now."

Skittles whined a little, but she knew she didn't have much of a choice. The two Impossibles left the attic, and walked down the stairs to the den, where they had seen the Jabberwocky. The room looked pretty much like it did on the other side of the mirror, except there were red and white chess pieces scattered all over the floor. Fluey had knocked into the table where the chessboard was sitting when he tried fending off the Jabberwocky.

"So where do we go from here?" Multi asked.

"Beats me," Coiley said, picking up a pawn, and putting it on the chessboard. "Come on, help me pick these chess pieces up."

Multi walked over to where Coiley was, in order to pick up the chess pieces. But to his, and Coiley's, complete surprise, they were all moving!

"Hollerin' hi-fi's!" Multi shouted. "Do you see what I see, Coiley?"

"I think so . . . . ." Coiley said. "But . . . . . but it _can't_ be possible!"

The boys were broken out of their thoughts when they heard the sound of a baby crying coming from the chessboard. They looked, and they noticed it was the pawn Coiley had put there.

"My baby!" the white queen cried out, in horror. "My baby, my baby! My poor baby!"

"My poor sacroiliac!" the white king moaned.

"Sorry about that," Coiley said. "Wait a minute, I'll put you back up there."

With that, Coiley picked up the white queen, and proceeded to return her to the chessboard. All the while, the white queen was screaming and flailing her arms and legs in a panic. Coiley gave her a weird look, and put her on the board. The queen immediately ran to her baby. Once she picked up her baby, she ran to the edge of the chessboard.

"Mind the tornado!" she called out.

"Tor_na_do?!" Coiley shouted.

"What tornado?" the white king asked.

"The one that blew me up here!" the white queen answered. "Be careful! It's a _very_ strong wind!"

"I don't think they can see us, _or_ hear us," Multi said.

"If that's the case, then they won't be able to help us," Coiley sighed. "We'll never find out where that Jabberwocky thing went!"

"I can tell you where it went," a voice said. Multi and Coiley looked around the room quickly, trying to figure out who said that.

"Over here," the voice said. The boys turned toward the voice, but the only thing they could find was a picture of an owl on the wall.

"Who said that?" Coiley asked.

"I did," the owl said.

"You mean you can hear us, and see us?" Multi asked.

"Of course," the owl said. All of a sudden, the two Impossibles found themselves in a forest of sorts, instead of Alice Hart's home.

"Trembling transistors, what happened?!" Coiley asked.

"I don't know," Multi said. "I _do_ know that it's not going to be easy finding that monster!"

"The monster is just something out of Queen Alice's mind," the owl said. "Her fears gave birth to it a long time ago, and until she overcomes them, the Jabberwocky will never go away."

"This is going to be a _lot_ harder than I initially thought," Multi said. "Listen, Mr. Owl, we've got a real problem on our hands. That Jabberwocky thing flew off with our friend, and we don't know where he took him."

"That, and we also need to figure out how to get back through the mirror," Coiley said.

"Well, don't worry, boys," the owl said. "There's always another way back. And for now, the best way back is to stay here, and listen to me for a couple of years."

"A couple of _years_?!" both Multi and Coiley shouted in unison.

"We can't stay _that_ long!" Coiley shouted. "Come on, Multi. I think we ought to go and try to find Fluey on our own."

"Right," Multi agreed, and the two Impossibles started off.

"If you two don't stay, you may never be able to get back at all!" the owl shouted. "With, or without your friend!"

The two Impossibles stopped in their tracks, and looked back at the owl. Then they turned, and started walking back over to the tree.

"Okay," Multi said. "If that's the case, then I guess we'll just stay here."

"Well, in that case," the owl said, as he began to leave, "I'll be on my way."

"But you wanted us to stay!" Coiley shouted.

"Aaahh, but now you're in Looking Glass Land," the owl said. "And everything here is backwards."

"No kidding," Multi mumbled under his breath. "Anyway, we were just beginning to talk, and . . . . ."

"Yes, boys," the owl said. "But here in Looking Glass Land, beginnings are endings."

And without another word, the owl faded out, and was gone. Multi and Coiley looked at each other in confusion. Then they just decided to get going. There was nothing else they could do, anyway, and they had to find where the Jabberwocky had taken Fluey. They both wished Skittles had made it through the mirror. That way, they might have had an easier time tracking Fluey down. But even if she _were_ there, it might not have done any good, since the Jabberwocky had flown away. Skittles couldn't track anything that flew very well.

The two Impossibles walked down a path for quite awhile, until they reached a garden. The flowers were humongous, almost as tall as they were.

"I don't think that Jabberwocky thing could've come this way," Multi said. "Too bad flowers can't talk."

"Of _course_ we can talk!" a tiger lily suddenly snapped. Multi and Coiley were so startled, they practically jumped ten feet in the air.

"If there's anyone worth talking to," a rose replied.

"Or about," a daisy giggled.

"Multi, I think I'm seeing, _and_ hearing things," Coiley said.

"So am I," Multi replied, a little nervously.

"Oh no you're not," the rose said, reassuringly. "All the flowers here talk. It's just not good manners for us to speak first, you see."

"Oh," Multi said, though he wasn't sure if he understood or not. "The gardener around here must have some pretty interesting conversations."

"Oh, we don't have a gardener," the daisy said.

"Well then, who takes care of you?" Coiley asked.

"The tree does," the daisy went on. "If danger is approaching, he barks."

"He does," Multi said, not sure if he believed it.

"He says bow-wow," the tiger lily said. "That's why they're called boughs. And, that particular tree is a dogwood tree, you know."

"Sounds like one of Fluey's bad puns," Coiley said. "But how can you guys talk, anyway?"

"You see, in most gardens, they make the beds much too soft," the tiger lily said. "When they're too soft, the flowers go to sleep."

"Well, seeing as how you _can_ talk, maybe you can help us," Multi said. "We're looking for this dragon-like thing called a Jabberwocky. Have you seen it?"

"No . . . . . ." the tiger lily said. "I don't _think_ so . . . . . maybe it didn't come by this way."

"Do you guys know if there are any other people in the garden?" Coiley asked. "Besides us, that is?"

"Oh a few," the daisy said. "Here comes one of the stranger ones now."

Coiley, Multi, and the flowers looked in the direction the daisy was indicating, and they saw something red coming by. The boys recognized her as the red queen chess piece, only bigger.

"Wow, did she ever get big!" Coiley shouted.

"It's the fresh air that does it," the rose said.

"Listen, we've got to go," Multi said. "We've got to talk to the Red Queen over there. Maybe she can help us find our friend."

"Come back and talk with us again sometime!" the tiger lily called out as Multi and Coiley ran over to the Red Queen.

"Excuse us, ma'am!" Coiley shouted, as he and Multi ran up. The Red Queen stopped abruptly, and stared at them.

"Who _are_ you?" she asked. "And _where_ in the world did you _come_ from?"

"Well, uhhhh . . . ." Coiley started.

"No, no, no, no, no, this won't do at all!" the Red Queen shouted. "Both of you stand up straight, speak nicely, and stop twiddling your fingers!"

The two Impossibles then stood at perfect attention, as if they were in the military. The Red Queen nodded in approval, and continued on her way.

"Your majesty, wait!" Multi shouted, as he and Coiley went after her. "We need your help! We're trying to find this creature called a Jabberwocky, and . . . . ."

Multi stopped suddenly when he reached the top of a hill. Coiley nearly crashed into him. Then he noticed why Multi stopped so suddenly. The entire land was laid out like a giant chessboard.

"Wow . . . . ." Multi said. "I don't think I've ever seen anything like this in my life!"

"Me neither," Coiley said. "This must be what Ms. Hart meant when she said she unwittingly became a pawn in a game of chess."

"Ms. Hart?" the Red Queen asked. "And _who_ is Ms. Hart?"

"Well, she introduced herself to us as Ms. Hart," Coiley said. "But I think her actual name is Alice Dawson."

"Alice _Daw_son?!" the Red Queen shouted. "The former Queen Alice?"

"I guess so," Multi said, shrugging. "She said she became a pawn in a chess game, and became a queen when she made it to the eighth square or something."

"Yes," the Red Queen replied. "That she did. And she brought that . . . . that Jabberwocky thing here, too. I can't understand why _any_one would go looking for it! Most likely you'll find it in Queen Alice's castle."

"How do we get there?" Coiley asked.

"You'll have to reach the eighth square to do so," the Red Queen said. "Come along, boys, I'll get you started."

The Red Queen took two steps forward, and then practically blasted off like a rocket. Coiley and Multi just stared after her, confused. They had never seen _any_thing move _that_ fast before! Not even Skittles! A second later, the Red Queen returned.

"Well, hurry up now!" she shouted. "Don't dawdle! Let's go!"

And with that, the Red Queen took off again. Multi and Coiley ran after her as fast as they could. They just hoped they wouldn't lose her!


	9. Basic Training

The Red Queen finally stopped, but Coiley and Multi noticed they hadn't gotten anywhere at all! They weren't quite sure what to make of this. The Red Queen then took out a hammer and some red stakes, and began pounding them into the ground.

"What are you doing?" Coiley asked.

"Taking measurements," the Red Queen said. "At the end of three yards, I'll have some rules for you. And at the end of five yards, I shall go."

The Red Queen continued pounding her stakes until the last one was firmly in the ground. Then she stood up, and turned to the two Impossibles.

"That about does it," she said. "And now it's time for me to go."

"Wait a minute!" Multi shouted. "What about those rules?"

"I really must go," the Red Queen said. "Good luck making it to the eighth square. Ta-ta!"

And with that, the Red Queen vanished into thin air, just like that. Both Multi and Coiley groaned.

"She was a lot of help," Coiley said, sarcastically.

"Looks like we're on our own," Multi sighed. "Come on, Coiley."

And with that, the two Impossibles continued walking down the strange path, hoping they would be able to find someone, or some_thing_ that would help them.

Meanwhile, back at the old castle, Fluey was beginning to come to again. He moaned, and held his hand to his head.

"I wonder what that dragon's been smoking to achieve that knockout gas effect?" he asked. "Ooooh, my aching head!"

Fluey pulled himself into a sitting position using the bars on the cage to brace himself. He looked around, and saw that the Jabberwocky was asleep.

"Now's my chance," he said, quietly. He was about to go into a conversion to escape, when the Jabberwocky suddenly woke up, and roared.

"Boy, you're really a light sleeper, aren't you?" Fluey asked. In response, the Jabberwocky gave the cage a good whack with his tail, causing it to swing wildly for a few moments.

"Okay, okay!" Fluey shouted, crashing to the cage floor. "I'll stay put! Just stop that, will ya? I'm getting sea sick!"

"Don't like the swinging, eh?" a voice asked. Fluey looked over, and saw someone coming into the room. He looked a little like the Jack of Hearts from a deck of cards, and he carried a staff with a red heart-shaped glass ball on it.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Don't you remember me from the trial?" the voice asked. "The Knave of Hearts? You stood up for me, don't you remember?"

"Oh, yeah," Fluey said. "But I really don't call it standing up for you. I just didn't think they could convict you without any evidence."

"They had their evidence, all right," the Knave of Hearts practically growled. "The White Rabbit found the crown jewels. They should have been mine, had it not been for Queen Alice. Had she not left Wonderland without me, they would have been mine! I had a right to those jewels! I married a queen, didn't I? And _they_ all knew I was married to her. They weren't able to catch me until the White Rabbit brought back the jewels!"

Fluey just stared at the Knave of Hearts as if he were crazy. He wasn't sure he followed this. The Knave of Hearts didn't seem to notice. Either that, or he didn't care.

"With those jewels, and with Queen Alice's title, I could have ruled Wonderland!" the Knave continued. "I had hoped the rabbit wouldn't find those jewels . . . . I _knew_ Alice still had them. When the rabbit found them, I thought for sure I'd never be the king of all of Wonderland. Then, you came into the picture, chasing after that rabbit. Then I realized I still had a chance. But you failed to catch that rabbit! I don't take kindly to minions who fail me."

"I'm not one of your minions, buster!How was I supposed to know those jewels didn't belong to Ms. Hart? The only reason I chased the White Rabbit was because I thought he was the thief! Nobody told me he was just taking back what rightfully belonged to someone else!"

"Those jewels rightfully belong to _me!_ I have a right to them! Only the kings and queens of Wonderland have the right to them! I wanted them, so I married Alice Dawson once she reached the eighth square and became a queen! That made me a king, so I took the jewels and hid them in the tarts! I thought if I couldn't be king, I'd at least be rich, by leaving Wonderland with Alice. Then that overgrown lizard showed up, and I never saw Alice again. I spent the last forty years training this beast, so he obeys my every command!"

"So what do you want with me, then? No, wait, let me guess. You've obviously been watching me. You must know about my ability to turn into fluid. I bet you want _me_ to try and steal the crown jewels for you, using my super powers, is that it?"

"Indeed it is. You are the only one who could do it. You could sneak into the six palaces of Wonderland, and effortlessly steal the crown jewels. Then I shall be the sole ruler of Wonderland. What do you say, boy? I'll reward you handsomely if you do. Think it over."

"I don't have to think it over. I've got an answer for you right now."

"Well, what is it?"

"Forget it!"

The Knave of Hearts glared at the dark-haired Impossible fiercely. He aimed his staff at the cage, and a red light came out of it. The light blasted into Fluey, and when it subsided, the dark-haired Impossible found his wrists had been locked in shackles, and were chained together.

"You're not very bright, are you?" he asked, giving the Knave a smug look. "This won't hold me for long!"

Fluey began to go into a liquid conversion, but as he did, the chains around his wrists began to glow, and they sent an electrical shock through the dark-haired hero. Fluey let out a scream as the shock went through him.

"Hey, man, what was _that_?!" he shouted, once it subsided.

"Something to keep you from escaping," the Knave of Hearts said. "I'll remove them once you decide to steal the crown jewels for me."

"No way!"

"Then you can just stay in there and think about it for awhile!"

The Knave of Hearts snapped his fingers, and the Jabberwocky stood up, and snorted his smoke right at Fluey. The dark-haired Impossible coughed, and then passed out again.

"I detest insubordination," the Knave grumbled. "Come, my pet. We'll let him think about his options while he sleeps."

Elsewhere, Multi and Coiley were still going down the giant chessboard, trying to figure out which was the way to the eighth square.

"We've got to get to the eighth square as fast as we can," Multi said. "But the question is how?"

"I wish there was a sign around here," Coiley said. "Then maybe we'd be able to find it faster."

Just then, a train whistle burst through the air. The two Impossibles turned, and saw a train coming. It slowly came to a stop nearby. Coiley and Multi looked at each other, and smiled. Then they ran to the train, opened the door to one of the cars, and climbed in. They noticed there were three other passengers as well. One was a goat, one was a horse, and the third was a man who looked like he was wearing a suit made out of newspapers. The door on the other side of the car opened, and the conductor walked in.

"Ticket-ticket-ticket-ticket-ticket," he said, sort of in tune to the train's wheels. "Tickets please!"

The horse, the goat, and the man in the paper suit pulled out their tickets and showed them to the conductor. Then the conductor came to Coiley and Multi.

"Show me your tickets!" he demanded.

"Dooon't keep him waaaaiiiiting," the goat bleated.

"Uuuuhhh, we don't have any," Multi said.

"There wasn't a ticket office where we got on," Coiley said.

"Then you should've gotten one from the engineer!" the conductor said, and he stormed out of the car. The train started up again, and began moving.

"Wheeerrre arrrre you going?" the goat asked after awhile.

"We're on our way to the eighth square," Multi said.

"Hopefully, this train will get us to it," Coiley said.

"At least they're old enough to know where they're going," the man in the paper suit said. "Even if they don't know their own names."

"We know our names!" Coiley shouted, somewhat indignantly.

"They should've known their way to the ticket office," the goat said, "even if they don't know the alllphabet."

"We know the alphabet!" Multi shouted, feeling somewhat insulted.

"They'll have to go back as luggage," the horse commented.

"No we won't," Coiley sighed. "We don't even belong on this railroad at all."

"Right," Multi said. "We were in the forest just now, and . . . . . well, I just wish we were back there."

"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride," the man in the paper suit said. "That's an old expression."

Coiley and Multi looked at each other, and sighed. It was about all they could do. Suddenly, the train car began to rock a little.

"Hold on!" the horse shouted. "I think this train's out of control!"

"Maybe we oughta pull an emergency chord!" Multi shouted.

"There isn't an emergency choorrrrrd," the goat said.

"There isn't even a non-emergency chord!" the horse shouted.

"There's got to be one!" Multi shouted. "I mean, all trains have one! You pull it and the train stops!"

"Weellll, this one doesn't!" the goat bleated. "The only thing you can pull around heeeerrrrre, is your own weeeeiiiight!"

"That's what _you_ think!" Coiley shouted. He stretched his arm across the seat, grabbed hold of the hair on the goat's chin, and gave it a good yank. With that, the train screeched to a halt. Multi and the goat nearly crashed off the other seat and onto the floor, while Coiley, the horse, and the man in the paper suit were practically thrown against the wall.

"Who stopped the train!" the conductor shouted, coming into the car.

"He did," the man in the paper suit said, pointing at Coiley.

"Well, how did he do it?" the conductor asked.

"He pulled the hair on his chinny-chin-chin," the horse replied, indicating the goat.

"Nearly took my whiskers off," the goat complained.

"Young man, didn't you know it's against the law to stop the train?" the conductor asked. "Unless of course, it's an emergency."

"It _was_ an emergency," Multi said. "The train was running away!"

"Oh it was, was it?" the man in the paper suit asked. "And just who was it running away from?"

"That's a silly question," Coiley said, rolling his eyes.

"And you're a silly boy," the goat replied.

"And, as my little sister would say," Coiley said, "you're a silly billy . . . . . goat!"

With that comment, the conductor, the man in the paper suit, and the horse began laughing hysterically at the comment.

"Oh-ho-ho! He got your goat that time!" the horse quipped. The goat just sat there, looking insulted.

"Next time, you two stay off my train!" the conductor shouted.

"Don't worry, we will," Multi said.

"Let's get outta here," Coiley replied.

And with that, the two Impossibles opened the door to the train car, and jumped out. As soon as they were off, the train began moving again.

"They almost ruined my lunch," the goat bleated, and he started chewing on a paper bag


	10. Scrambled Eggs

Coiley and Multi watched the train leave, trying to figure out where they were now, and which way to go. It looked like they were in another part of the forest, but they weren't certain. And they certainly didn't have any idea which square they were on now!

"Hello!" a voice called out, suddenly. "Hello!"

"What was that?" Coiley asked.

"Hellooooooo!" the voice called out again. The two Impossibles decided to follow the voice to see who it was, and they ran across a gigantic bug of sorts. It was almost as big as they were!

"Hello," the bug said.

"Uhh, hello there," Multi said, a little uncertainly.

"You two look like very nice people," the bug said. "Two very, very nice people, who wouldn't hurt me, even if I am an insect."

"What kind of insect are you, anyway?" Coiley asked.

"A gnat," the bug said. "Now tell me, what kind of insects do they like where you come from?"

"It really depends on the person," Multi said, shrugging. "My older sister, for example, she hates _any_thing with more than four legs, except for butterflies. She loves butterflies, but she kind of hates everything else."

"Yeah, and then there are those who like all kinds of insects," Coiley said. "We have a friend who studies them in our agency's laboratory."

"Oh, I see," the gnat said.

"Hey, listen, could you tell us where we are?" Coiley asked. "See, we're trying to get to the eighth square, and we're not exactly sure if we're going the right way or not."

"Ahhh," the gnat said. "This forest is the fourth square. But I wouldn't go in there if I were you!"

"Well, we already know what's lurking at the eighth square," Multi said. "And we really need to get to it."

"Thanks for the help," Coiley said, and he and Multi started to go into the forest.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" the gnat called out.

"We won't!" Multi called back. "Bye!"

And with that, the two Impossibles went into the forest. At the end of the path, they found a sign post. One sign on it read "To Tweedledum's House." Another read "To the Home of Tweedledee." Of course, the sign was pointing in the same direction, which didn't really surprise either Multi, or Coiley.

"I don't find this at all surprising," Coiley said. "What say we find the Tweedles, Multi?"

"Good idea, Coiley," Multi said. "Maybe they can help us find the eighth square."

The two Impossibles then started down on the path that led to the Tweedles' home. At the end of the path there was indeed a house, and what looked like two large, and very fat figures standing in front of it. They were nearly identical, with one being a man, and the other a woman. The woman figure had the word "Dee" written on her collar, while the man figure had the word "Dum" written on his. The boys just stared at them, not knowing what to do, or say.

"If you think we're waxworks, you really ought to pay, you know!" Dum shouted, suddenly. Coiley and Multi jumped back, surprised.

"Waxworks weren't meant to be looked at for nothing!" Dum went on.

"We didn't even know you were alive!" Multi shouted.

"Contrariwise, if you think we're alive, then you should speak to us!" Dee shouted.

"We're sorry," Coiley said.

"Mm hmm," Dum said. "I know what you're thinking about. Well it isn't so. No how!"

"Contrariwise," Dee said, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be, but as it isn't, it ain't."

"That's logic!" both Dee and Dum shouted together.

"Well, what we were thinking was the best way out of the woods," Coiley said. "We've got to get going now. Bye!"

"No, no, no!" Dum shouted. "You've got it all wrong. The first thing you do at a visit, is say how do you do and shake hands!"

"And then state your name and business," Dee said.

"That's manners!" they shouted in unison.

"Oh," Multi said, glancing over and Coiley, who shrugged.

"Well, my name is Coil Man," Coiley said. "And his is Multi Man, and we're on our way to the eighth square."

"Yeah, we really have to be going now," Multi said.

"Oh, but you must stay, and let me entertain you!" Dee shouted. "I would so _love_ to recite some poetry for you boys!"

"Well, could you at least tell us which is the right road out of the forest?" Multi asked. "We're really in a terrible hurry!"

"What shall I recite?" Dee asked.

"I know!" Dum exclaimed. "Old Father William!"

"Oh yes," Dee said. "That is such a delightful poem."

"Really, we'd love to stay and listen but . . . . . ." Coiley said, but the Tweedles weren't listening. Dee stood up, hummed a note, and began to sing.

_You are old, Father William, the young man said_

_And your hair has become very white_

_Yet you incessantly stand on your head_

_Do you think at your age it is right_

Multi and Coiley just looked at each other, as the Tweedles continued their recitation. Then, they decided to just sneak away, while the Tweedles were reciting. They didn't notice they had lost their audience at all.

The boys continued down the pathway, until something white fluttered down from the sky, and landed right on Coiley's head.

"Hey!" he shouted, pulling it off. "What the heck is this?"

"Looks like some kind of scarf, or a shawl or something," Multi said.

"Bread and butter!" they heard a voice call out. "Bread and butter!"

The two Impossibles looked around for the source of the voice, when they saw the White Queen from the chessboard wandering around, somewhat aimlessly.

"Bread and butter!" she shouted. "Where's my bread and butter?!"

The White Queen continued wandering, until she came across Multi and Coiley.

"Oh thank you!" she shouted, grabbing her shawl. "I'd been looking for that."

"You're welcome," Coiley said.

The White Queen then began fiddling with her shawl, mumbling under her breath, but it seemed she wasn't getting anywhere trying to put it on.

"Do you need any help getting that shawl of yours on straight, your majesty?" Multi asked.

"Oh, yes," the White Queen said. "Would you be a dear and do it for me? It's out of temper, I think. I've pinned it everywhere I could possibly think to pin it, and there's just no pleasing it!"

"You really ought to have a lady-in-waiting," Coiley said.

"What a fine idea," the White Queen said. "Either of you interested? You're not ladies, of course, but one can't be picky, now can one? I'll give you a tuppence a week, and jam every other day."

"Uhh, no thanks, your majesty," Multi said, as he finished pinning the queen's shawl. "We're really in a hurry."

"But it's very good jam," the White Queen said.

"I'm sure it is," Multi continued. "But we're not very hungry right now. See, we have to . . . . ."

"Well, you couldn't have any today even if you wanted it," the White Queen said, standing up. "The rule is jam tomorrow, and jam yesterday. Never, ever jam today."

"That's kind of confusing," Coiley said.

"Well, that's the effect of living backwards," the queen replied. "It makes everyone a bit giddy at first. But there's at least one advantage. The memory works both ways."

"I think ours work only one way," Coiley said. "I mean, we can't remember things _before_ they happen!"

"Poor sort of memory to only work backwards," the queen said. "Now me, I remember things that happened the week before next!"

Multi and Coiley looked at each other strangely. They were about to ask the White Queen what in the world she meant, when she suddenly screamed.

"What's the matter?" Multi asked.

"My finger is bleeding!" the queen wailed, showing her finger to the boys.

"How?" Coiley asked, confused.

"Yeah, I don't see any blood," Multi said. "You haven't stuck your finger on anything."

"Well, not yet," the White Queen said. "But I will!"

"When do you think it'll happen?" Multi asked.

"When I fix my shawl again," the queen said, and she began fiddling with her brooch. "You see, the brooch will come undone directly."

The White Queen played around with her brooch for a few moments, and then showed her index finger to Multi and Coiley, and sure enough, it was bleeding.

"Now you see how things happen here," she said. "How old are you boys?"

"We're both sixteen," Coiley answered.

"I'm just one hundred and one," the queen replied.

"I can't believe _that_," Multi said.

"You caaaaaaaan't?" the queen replied, slowly, as she sat down on a rock.

"Uhhh, no, we can't," Coiley said, backing away nervously.

"Yeah, uhh . . . ." Multi said, also beginning to back away. "I, uhh, I hope your finger feels better . . . . ."

"Much beeeeeetter," the queen said. "Beeeeehhhhhhh . . . . . ."

All of a sudden, the White Queen transformed into a sheep. Coiley and Multi immediately turned around, and started running in the opposite direction. They had no idea what else to do! They stopped running when they reached a large stone wall. Coiley heard some footsteps from above, so he took a few bounces backward. Multi followed, and turned to look on the wall.

"Hey, it's an egg man!" Coiley shouted.

"Young man," the egg man said, "it is not polite to tell someone they look like a giant egg!"

"Sorry," Coiley said. "I didn't mean to offend you. Who are you?"

"Who am I?" the egg man said. "Why, I'm Humpty Dumpty! Who are you?"

"My name's Coiley, and his is Multi."

"Coiley and Multi . . . . . . hmph! What stupid names!"

"Maybe so," Multi said. "But at least we're smart enough to stay down here on the ground. The wall's kind of narrow, you know."

"Bah!" Humpty Dumpty scoffed. "I don't happen to think so! Even if I did fall off, the king has promised me . . . . ."

"That all of his horses and all of his men would put you back together again, right?" Multi said.

"You've been snooping!" Humpty shouted. "Or else you couldn't have known that!"

"No, I've just read the book," Multi said. "Your story's in a book of nursery rhymes. Yours is my baby brother's favorite."

"Bah," Humpty mumbled. "I can't stay and talk to you. I'm having an un-birthday party today. See the cravat I'm wearing? It was an un-birthday present from the White King and Queen."

"_Un_-birthday?" Coiley asked. "What's an un-birthday?"

"You remember, Coiley?" Multi asked. "From the Disney version of the movie? You have one birthday every year, but you have three hundred sixty-four _un_-birthdays, right?"

"Of course!" Humpty shouted, indignantly. "You get three hundred sixty-four days for _un_-birthday presents, and only _one_ for birthday presents! Hmph. That's glory for you!"

"What do you mean by glory?" Multi asked.

"I mean there's a nice, knock down argument for ya!" Humpty shouted.

"But that's not what glory means," Coiley said.

"Of course it does!" Humpty shouted. "When I use a word, it means exactly what I choose it to mean! The question is, which is to be bester! Words! They have a temper, some very particularly. Verbs are the proudest. Adjectives, you can do anything with, but not verbs! However, I can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability! That's what I say!"

"Uhhh, what does _that_ mean?" Coiley asked.

"What I mean by impenetrability is we've had enough of that subject!" Humpty shouted. "And it would be just as well if one of you would mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you two don't mean to stop here, all the rest of your lives. You understand, boys, when I make a word do a lot of work like that, I always pay it extra!"

And with that, Humpty began to do a soft shoe right there on the top of the wall. Coiley and Multi watched, getting nervous.

"Uhh, Mr. Dumpty, don't you think you oughta come down here on the ground if you're going to dance like that?" Multi asked. "It might be safer."

"Bah!" Humpty shouted. "If I thought that, I'd do that!"

Coiley and Multi were about to convince the giant egg to come down off the wall when it suddenly began to grow dark. The two Impossibles looked up at the sky, and saw a giant black cloud there.

"Looks like rain," Multi said.

"It also looks like that cloud has wings," Coiley said.

"Maybe it's a giant bird," Multi replied, sounding nervous.

A gust of wind blew, and the boys heard a crash of thunder, and saw a flash of lightning. The winged cloud began to get closer toward our heroes, and then, they saw exactly what it was. And it wasn't a bird, or a plane.

"Jabberwocky!" the two Impossibles screamed in perfect unison.

The Jabberwocky gave out a fierce roar, and swooped down, and wound up clipping Humpty with one of it's wings. Humpty lost his balance, and fell of the wall. Unfortunately, Multi and Coiley couldn't worry about him. They were trying to escape the Jabberwocky, but it was practically right on top of them! After seeing it up close, they weren't sure they wanted to fight with it! As they were running, Coiley ran right into a gigantic spiderweb, complete with gigantic spiders.

"Multi, I'm stuck!" he shouted.

"Spiraling spiderwebs!" Multi shouted, as he began pulling at the webbing. "This sure is a sticky situation!"

"Keep trying, Multi!" Coiley shouted, writhing around to get loose. "We've got to get through this web, anyway! Or else the Jabberwocky's gonna get us!"

Multi agreed, and pulled on the webbing harder. It was his, and Coiley's only way out


	11. The Lion and the Unicorn

It seemed that the more the two Impossibles struggled, the more entangled in the web they became. Finally, they managed to tear free of the web, and they took off running, with the Jabberwocky right behind them. The monster easily tore away the webbing with his claws.

"We've got to lose this thing!" Coiley shouted. "We'll never be able to find Fluey if it gets us first!"

"Over there!" Multi shouted, pointing to a small opening in a group of trees.

The two Impossibles ran through the opening easily, but the Jabberwocky was far too big to go through. And, as luck would have it, the trees, brush, and shrubbery were too thick for the monster to crawl through. Giving out a loud roar, the beast gave up, and flew away.

"That did it," Multi said. "I knew he'd never be able to fit through here."

"Maybe we ought to follow it," Coiley said. "It _could_ lead us straight to Fluey."

"And it could sense we're following it, and tear us to shreds," Multi pointed out.

"Good point."

"We're better off looking for the eighth square on our own. I don't think I'm ready to mess with that overgrown lizard."

Coiley agreed, and the boys were off again. As they were walking down a road, they were spotted by none other than the White King.

"Pardon me, young gentlemen!" he called out. "But did you happen to see my two messengers as you came through the wood?"

"No, your majesty," Coiley said. "We haven't seen anybody . . . . . except an overgrown lizard."

"Would you two mind looking along this road and tell me if you see either of them?" the White King asked.

"Sure," Multi said. He looked down the road for a couple of minutes, then turned to the White King, and shrugged.

"I don't see anybody," he said, shrugging. "Nobody's coming."

"Ahhh, if only I had such eyes," the king said. "To be able to see nobody . . . . ."

"Oh, wait a minute, somebody's coming now," Multi said, as what appeared to be a messenger came down the path toward the White King and the two Impossibles.

"Ah yes," the king said, standing up. "That one is Hayor. My other messenger is called Hatter. I must have two, you know. One to come, and one to go."

"Beg pardon?" Coiley asked, confused.

"It isn't respectable to beg!" the king shouted.

It was at that moment when Hayor the messenger arrived where the group was standing.

"Your majesty!" he shouted, causing the White King to jump nearly a mile high.

"You startled me!" he shouted, smacking his messenger in the face. "I feel faint. Give me a ham sandwich!"

"Nothing but hay left," Hayor said.

"Well, then, give it to me," the king said, and he turned to the boys. "There's nothing like eating hay when one feels faint."

"I think cold water would be better," Multi commented.

"I didn't say there was nothing better!" the White King shouted. "I said there was nothing like it! Anyway, what's the news, messenger?"

"They're at it again!" Hayor shouted.

"Who's at it again?" Coiley asked.

"The lion and the unicorn, of course!" the King shouted. "Come along, we shall get to the bottom of this!"

And with that, the White King and Hayor began to walk off. Multi and Coiley looked at each other, and decided to follow them, mostly out of curiosity, but they also figured maybe either the lion, or the unicorn might be able to help them.

The quartet reached a part of the forest, where several creatures were gathered. One was definitely a lion, only he stood on two legs, and he was fighting with a unicorn, also standing on two legs. After what Multi and Coiley had seen already, this didn't surprise them. They, were, however, a little surprised to see a unicorn up close and in person.

"I never thought I'd actually see a for real unicorn!" Coiley shouted.

"Me neither," Multi said. "The closest I've come are Windy's old My Little Pony dolls."

The boys were brought out of their thoughts for a moment when the lion let out a fierce roar, and swiped at the unicorn's head. In retaliation, the unicorn whinnied, and gave the lion a poke in the side with his horn, nearly shish kebab-ing him. The two Impossibles cringed upon seeing this.

"Wow, this is a pretty ugly fight," Coiley said.

"All right, all right!" the White King shouted, as he, Hayor, and the two Impossibles approached the fight. "Ten minutes allotted for refreshments!"

"I had the best of it this time!" the unicorn shouted.

"You shouldn't have run him through with your horn," the White King said.

"It didn't hurt him!" the unicorn argued. Then he noticed Coiley and Multi standing there, and immediately got to his feet.

"What are _those_?!" he asked, somewhat bewildered.

"A couple of boys we found today," the White King said. "They're as large as life, and twice as natural!"

"Boys?" the unicorn asked. "As in . . . . . _chil_dren?!"

"Well, unless you think sixteen is still a child," Coiley said. "But we'd disagree with you."

"But . . . . b-b-but . . . . I always thought children were fabulous monsters! Only found in fairy tales!" the unicorn shouted, still a bit bewildered.

"Yeah, and I always thought unicorns were only in fairy tales, too," Multi said.

"Me, too," Coiley said. "We've never seen one in person before."

"Well . . . . ." the unicorn said. "Now that we _have_ seen one another, if you will believe in me, I will believe in you. Is it a bargain?"

"Sure," Multi said. "Boy, Windy will _never_ believe this! She's always wanted to see a real unicorn!"

"Wheee-heee-heee-heeee!" the unicorn whinnied happily, and then neighed.

"Are you animal, vegetable, or mineral?" the lion suddenly asked. The unicorn rolled his eyes.

"You dum-dum!" he shouted, standing up. "I've already told you, they're fabulous monsters!"

"Then hand around the cake, monsters!" the lion shouted, pointing toward two people bringing in some kind of cake on a plate, along with a knife.

"Right away, sir!" Coiley shouted, sproinging over to the woman holding the cake.

"Be careful," the woman said. "If you drop it, the lion will eat you!"

"I wouldn't do that," the lion said. "Not _yet_, anyway!"

"Oh please, don't say that!" Multi shouted.

"Yeah, you're making me nervous," Coiley replied.

"Don't do as he says, monster," the unicorn said.

"Don't listen to him, cut the cake!" the lion demanded.

"And I say don't!" the unicorn shouted.

"And I say do!" the lion shouted.

"Oooohh, what a fight we might have for the crown now, sir!" the unicorn yelled.

"And I would surely win!" the lion growled. "I would beat you all around the town!"

"All right, all right, enough is enough," the White King said. Then he turned to Coiley. "Cut the cake, already."

Saying nothing, Coiley picked up the knife, and sliced the cake in half. Then, without warning, the cake merged back together again. Coiley and Multi looked at each other, strangely. Then Multi took the knife, and tried cutting the cake again. Once he cut it, it merged back together.

"They seem to be having a hard time cutting that cake," the lion said.

"You don't know how to serve Looking Glass cake!" the unicorn yelled. "You hand it around _first_, and _then_ you cut it!"

"Sounds pretty strange if you ask me," Multi said. He put the knife down, picked up the cake, and held it up to the lion and the unicorn. The minute he did, the cake split, as if it had been sliced in half.

"If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it," he said.

"Hey, I see it, and I _still_ don't believe it!" Coiley shouted.

"This isn't fair!" the unicorn shouted. "The monsters have given the lion twice as much as me!"

"Well, they've kept none for themselves, anyhow!" the lion shouted, and then he turned toward the two Impossibles. "Do you like plum cake, monsters?"

"Well . . . ." Coiley began, but he was interrupted by the sound of a loud drum.

"Hey, what's that drumming?" Multi asked, covering his ears.

"I don't know!" Coiley shouted, covering his own ears to drown out the deafening beats. "Hey! Your majesty! What's with the drumming?!"

The White King paid no attention. It was like he couldn't even hear Coiley. The lion, the unicorn, and all the other creatures seemed to be the same. Not one of them heard a thing the two Impossibles were saying.

"Come on, let's get out of here!" Multi shouted, to be heard over the drums.

"Yeah! We've still got to find the eighth square!" Coiley shouted.

And with that, the two Impossibles ran down a path, hoping that drumming would stop soon.

The drumming was so loud, it could be heard practically all around Looking Glass Land, including the eighth square. Fluey began coming to his senses again, though with a pounding headache, thanks to the noise.

"Ooohhh . . . . ." he groaned, rubbing the side of his head. "Who's the joker with the drum? It's giving me a headache!"

"The lion and the unicorn must be at it again," the Knave of Hearts grumbled. "They always beat the drums when those two have been fighting."

"Doesn't it bother you?" Fluey asked.

"You get used to it when you've lived here long enough. It'll stop after awhile."

After a few more drum beats, the noise finally stopped, much to Fluey's relief. He let out a whistle, and continued messaging his head.

"Boy, is my head ever _killing_ me!" he shouted.

"Yes, it _is_ quite loud, isn't it?" the Knave of Hearts said. "I shall have to put a stop to it once I'm king of Wonderland. So, how's about it, boy? Are you going to steal the Wonderland crown jewels for me?"

"I'd rather be sent through the deep freeze, chopped into ice cubes, shaved into slush, and be scooped up as snow cones for the kids in my neighborhood!"

The Knave of Hearts let out what sounded like a mix between a growl and a scream. Fluey just sat there in the cage, arms folded across his chest.

"I ought to boil you in oil for your insubordination!" the Knave of Hearts shouted. "I ought to throw you in the rack and stretch you out until you're torn in half! I ought to . . . . . ."

Before the Knave of Hearts could continue, the Jabberwocky flew into the window, and grunted.

"Back, I see," the Knave said. "Anything out there I should be concerned about?"

The Jabberwocky grunted, snorted, and growled, and the Knave of Hearts nodded, murmuring "mm hmmm" and "I see" over and over again. Fluey watched, and rolled his eyes.

"Two boys were trying to find us, eh?" the Knave said. "You scared them off? Very good. I want no one to find me here, until I obtain the crown jewels of Wonderland!"

"Yeah, that'll be a big, fat never, pal!" Fluey shouted.

"You'd better change your tune about stealing the crown jewels, boy! Especially if you want your freedom!"

"My answer's the same, buster! No!"

The Knave of Hearts nodded to the Jabberwocky, and the monster gave the cage another whack with his tail. Then the beast blew another dose of it's knock out smoke in the dark-haired Impossible's face, rendering him unconscious once more.

"I can wait just as long as you can, boy," the Knave of Hearts said. "I'll get those crown jewels and rule Wonderland if it's the last thing I do!"


	12. The White Knight

Once the drumming had finally stopped, Coiley and Multi continued on their way to find the eighth square, even though they had no idea where they were going, and the people of Looking Glass Land weren't very helpful at all. They walked further into the woods, until they noticed a fog was rolling in.

"I hope this isn't going to be a pea soup fog," Coiley said.

"I'm with you, Coiley," Multi said. "We're lost enough as it is!"

The boys continued along, until they heard hoofbeats coming toward them.

"Ahoy!" they heard someone call from the distance. "Ahoy there!"

The two Impossibles turned to look and saw a man on horseback, wearing a red suit of armor, riding up to them. He pulled the reins on his horse to stop it, and then pointed his lance at the two teenage heroes.

"Check!" he shouted. "You two are my prisoners!"

"What?" Coiley asked, feeling confused.

"Wait a minute," Multi said. "We're not even _playing_ this chess game. We're just . . . . ."

"Silence!" the red knight shouted, pointing his lance directly at Multi's Adam's apple. "You two are my prisoners, I say!"

Before the boys could say another word, they heard another horse whinny in the distance, as well as the sound of hoofbeats coming. Within moments, a white horse came onto the scene, carrying another knight, only this one was wearing a white suit of armor. He stopped his horse right in front of the red knight's.

"Check!" he shouted.

"They're my prisoners, you know!" the red knight shouted.

"Yes," the white knight said. "But then I came, and rescued them!"

"Then we must fight for them!"

"You will observe the rules of battle, of course!"

"I always do!"

"Let's get outta here!" Coiley shouted.

"Good idea!" Multi shouted, and the two Impossibles ducked out of sight. They didn't want to get in the middle of _this_, that was for sure!

The two knights went to opposite ends of the clearing, steadied their lances, and then charged for each other. They nearly gored each other with the lances, then went back, and charged again.

"There sure are a lot of fights here," Multi commented.

"You said it," Coiley replied, cringing at the two knights taking whacks at each other with their lances, and their shields. "How will we know when someone wins?"

"One of them falls off the horse. Or one of them's shish-kebab-ed, whichever comes first."

The two knights continued to do battle with one another, until both of them wound up falling off their horses.

"Who wins now?" Coiley asked.

"I think it's a draw," Multi said.

But a few seconds later, the white knight was on his feet, and drew his sword, before the red knight had a chance to even get up. The white knight held the tip of his sword directly at the red knight's chest.

"Check!" he shouted, triumphantly.

"Check," the red knight replied, holding up his hands in defeat. He then got up, mounted his horse, and rode away.

"Ha!" the white knight shouted, putting his sword in it's sheath. "A glorious victory, wouldn't you say, boys?"

"Yeah," Coiley said. "For a minute, I didn't think either of you were going to win!"

"Neither did I," the white knight admitted, taking off his helmet. "I admit, I'm getting far too old for these battles. I'm not as young as I used to be. Oh for the days when I was a much younger man . . . ."

"I hate to interrupt you, sir," Multi said. "But we were wondering if you could help us out."

"I'll do what I can," the white knight said. "What may I do for you?"

"We need to find the eighth square," Coiley said.

"The eighth square?" the white knight repeated. "The eighth _square_?! What on earth would you two want on the eighth square?"

"We're looking for this dragon creature called a Jabberwocky," Multi explained. "The Red Queen told us we'd find it in a castle on the eighth square. It took our friend, and we think that dragon's holding him prisoner at the castle."

"A castle on the eighth square," the white knight said, somewhat absently. "Oh, how that castle brings back such bittersweet memories . . . . ."

"What's the matter?" Coiley asked.

"It's a very long story, boys," the white knight sighed. "One I'm sure you have no interest of hearing . . . . . to be brief, it was that very castle where I lost the love of my life, forty years ago . . . ."

"Her name wouldn't happen to have been Alice Dawson, would it?" Multi asked. "A former queen of Wonderland?"

"Why yes," the white knight said, a little surprised. "How did you know?"

"She told us the story," Coiley said. "She's living on the other side of Looking Glass Land. We were investigating some break-ins, and someone in town told us to go to Alice Hart's, and there we found a rabbit stealing jewels out of Ms. Hart's jewelry box. We didn't know they were the crown jewels of Wonderland at the time."

"Our friend went after him because he was the only one who could follow the rabbit down the rabbit hole he ducked into," Multi went on. "We don't know what happened, but the next thing we knew, we saw him on the other side of the mirror at Ms. Hart's."

"We couldn't get in, and he couldn't get out," Coiley continued. "Then this Jabberwocky shows up, snatches our friend, and flies off with him."

"I've no idea what that beast would want with your friend," the white knight said. "But I _do_ know that it _does_ make it's home in the former Queen Alice's castle."

"Do you think you can help us?" Multi asked.

"I'd really love to, boys, but I'm afraid I can't," the white knight said. "I'm under strict orders from the Queen of Hearts. The Knave of Hearts has escaped from prison, and he must be captured at once! I'd like to get a piece of him myself, the scoundrel . . . . . however, I will see you boys to the end of the woods. Once you pass the next brook, you'll see a path, and that path leads directly to the eighth square, and former Queen Alice's castle."

"Hey, thanks!" Coiley shouted.

"I think you're the only sane person around here," Multi said.

"Come along," the white knight said, mounting his steed. "Let's be off."

Multi and Coiley followed the white knight down a path, happy to finally find someone sane around this place, and willing to help them.

At the eighth square, in the meantime, the Knave of Hearts was waiting for his captive to awaken again. Fluey came around after awhile, and sat up, rubbing the side of his head.

"Did you have a pleasant sleep?" the Knave of Hearts asked. "Now then, have you changed your mind yet?"

"You never give up, do you?" Fluey asked.

"Not until I get those jewels!"

"Too bad. Because you're not getting them!"

"Even if it means being locked up in that cage forever?"

"Exactly. I'll never agree to steal those jewels!"

The Knave of Hearts growled in frustration. This was driving him out of his mind. Then, he took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

"I stated earlier that if you succeeded in obtaining the jewels, I'd give you quite a handsome reward," the he said. "What would you say if I made you the captain of my guards once I become king?"

"I'd say no way!" Fluey shouted.

"I'll pay you for your services. In gold, no less. Maybe even part of the crown jewels, after I become king, that is. Worth enough to keep you set for life."

"No!"

"What if, once I become king, I give you your own little piece of land here in Looking Glass Land to rule over? Your own little domain, lord of the land."

"Forget it!"

"You're impossible, you know that? Just plain im_poss_ible!"

"Yeah, yeah, tell me something I _don't_ know!"

The Knave of Hearts let out a scream, and thrust his staff at the dark-haired Impossible, giving him a blast similar to the one Fluey received when he tried going into a conversion to escape the chains around his wrists, only this time it was a lot stronger than before. Fluey let out a pained shriek as it went through him. Once it subsided, he collapsed to the floor of the cage.

"I'm tired of this waiting game you're playing, boy!" the Knave shouted. He grabbed a nearby hour glass, and turned it over. "You have exactly one hour to change your mind about stealing the crown jewels! And if you still refuse, not only will I give you another jolt of what I just gave you, but I'll give you enough to barbecue you and feed you to the Jabberwocky!"

With a maniacal laugh which echoed through the castle halls, the Knave of Hearts left the room. Fluey tried to get up, but he was feeling completely drained after that electrical jolt he just received. He finally decided to just give up on getting up, and passed out again.

Meanwhile, Coiley, Multi, and the white knight had reached the edge of the woods. The white knight stopped his horse, and prepared to turn it around.

"All you boys have to do now is go down the hill, and over the brook," he said. "Then you'll reach the eighth square. It's not far to the castle after that."

"Thanks a lot for your help," Multi said.

"You're quite welcome, boys," the white knight said. "Now, I must be off, in search of the Knave of Hearts."

"Good luck," Coiley said. "And give him a couple of socks for us if you find him."

"Yeah," Multi agreed. "That's what I'd do to the guy who'd steal my girl!"

"Good luck to you, too, fellows," the white knight said. And with that, he turned around, and rode off, back into the woods.

Coiley and Multi walked down the hill, and over the brook, as instructed. Then they looked around.

"So this is the eighth square, huh?" Coiley asked. "Looks like every other square around here."

"Really," Multi said. "But we made it. Now all we have to do is find the castle."

"And that's not going to be easy," Coiley said. "We have to figure out which path to take."

Suddenly, the boys heard a crash of thunder and saw a flash of lightning coming from further down the path.

"Hollerin' hi fi's!" Multi shouted. "Look down there! That path looks pretty ominous."

"And I'll bet anything that if we take that path, we'll find the Jabberwocky," Coiley said. Multi agreed, and the two Impossibles took off running toward the dark pathway.

"Rally ho!" they shouted.

At the end of the path, the boys found an old, creepy looking castle, surrounded by dead trees, and bare shrubs. The sky was filled with dark clouds, which were thundering and flashing lightning occasionally.

"Holy horrendous!" Coiley shouted. "I wonder if that's it?"

"It's the only castle around," Multi said. "And it looks exactly like the sort of place a monster like the Jabberwocky would live. Come on."

Coiley nodded, and he and Multi approached the doors. They were glad that there wasn't a moat to get across. When they reached the front doors, they noticed a sign on them, which read "Queen Alice."

"This is it, all right," Multi said. He tried opening one of the doors, but found it was locked.

"That figures," he sighed. Then he pulled a bobby pin out of his pocket. "Looks like we're going to have to use one of Windy's bobby pins to get in there."

"Does your sister know you raid her hair supplies like this, Multi?" Coiley asked.

"Sure she does," Multi said. "But she _doesn't_ know that I keep them when I raid them. She thinks I put them back when I'm done with them. She's got so many of these bobby pins, she doesn't even notice one or two missing every now and then."

Multi kneeled down, stuck his sister's bobby pin into the lock of the door, and fiddled around with it. He hoped that the locks in Looking Glass Land were the same as the locks in his own world. Otherwise, he'd have no idea what to do. Luckily, they were, and after enough fiddling with it, the doors unlocked.

"Come on," he said, putting the bobby pin back in his pocket.

The two Impossibles slowly opened the doors, and quietly entered the castle. They didn't want to get caught, that was for sure! The boys made their way down the main hallway, looking into various rooms, until they came across the room at the end of the hallway. Coiley looked into the keyhole, to get an idea of what was in there.

"That Jabberwocky's in there, all right," he said. "And he's asleep!"

"Any sign of Fluey?" Multi asked.

"I can't see that much in there. I'd go in through the keyhole, but I'm afraid I'll make too much noise and wake up the dragon."

Multi agreed to that, and tried to open the door. Not surprisingly, it was locked. It was probably the only room in the castle that wasn't locked.

"Surprise, surprise," he said, taking out the bobby pin. "Oh well."

Multi stuck the pin in the lock and started fiddling until it clicked open. Then the boys entered the room, as quietly as they could. They were a little intimidated at seeing the Jabberwocky up close and personal like this. That sucker was _huge_! And they certainly didn't want to wake him up, that was for sure!

"I hope he's a heavy sleeper," Coiley whispered.

"Right," Multi agreed. "Come on. Let's find Fluey, and get out of here!"

The boys looked around the room a little, until they spotted the bird cage hanging from the ceiling.

"Up there," Multi whispered. "Let's go!"

The two Impossibles used their powers to get themselves up to the hanging bird cage, hoping they wouldn't wake up the Jabberwocky. There was Fluey, sprawled out on the cage's floor, unconscious.

"I knew he'd be up here," Multi said. "You hold the cage still, Coiley, and I'll unlock it."

"Right, Multi," Coiley said.

Immediately, Multi got to work picking the lock of the cage. Once it was unlocked, he slowly opened it, even though it creaked a little bit. Coiley kept his eyes on the Jabberwocky, to make sure the creaking wasn't going to wake him up. Then, he reached his arm into the cage, grabbed Fluey's shoulder, and shook it a little.

"Fluey, wake up, ol' buddy," he said.

"Mmmph . . . ." Fluey mumbled, as he slowly regained consciousness. He sat up, and rubbed the side of his head.

"Ooooh . . . . ." he groaned. "What hit me?"

"Shhh!" Multi hissed. "Quiet, or else you'll wake that thing up."

"Oh yeah, right," Fluey said, lowering his voice. "Boy, am I glad you guys showed up. Get these off my wrists, would you, Multi? They're keeping me from using my powers."

"No problem," Multi said, sticking the bobby pin in the keyhole of Fluey's shackles. Unfortunately, he couldn't undo them without them clinking and clanking a little. And because of that, the Jabberwocky began stirring.

"Hurry, Multi!" Coiley hissed. "The Jabberwocky's starting to wake up!"

"Yeah, man," Fluey said. "He's not the world's heaviest sleeper!"

Multi worked as quickly as he could, without making too much noise, he hoped. Finally, he was able to get them off, but he grabbed them before they had a chance to fall to the floor of the cage.

"Whew!" Fluey heaved a huge sigh of relief. "Am I glad to finally get _those_ off! Come on, fellas, let's split before Sleeping Beauty over there wakes up!"

"I'm with you," Multi said.

And with that, Multi and Coiley deactivated their powers, and Fluey transformed into liquid, and the three of them raced for the doors. Unfortunately, as soon as Coiley let go of the cage, it began swinging. As it swung, the chains that had been around Fluey's wrists fell out, and not only that, they landed right on the Jabberwocky's head.

CLONK!

And that was enough to wake him up! He let out a ferocious roar, and stood up.

"Holy Mesopotamia!" Fluey shouted. "Let's get outta here!"

The Impossibles immediately beat a hasty retreat. The Jabberwocky began roaring as loud as he possibly could. Then he used his tail to whack at the cage again, causing it to swing right off the hook it was hanging on, and it fell.

"Look out!" Coiley shouted.

The Impossibles used their powers to avoid getting smashed by the cage, and just in the knick of time. It hit the floor almost the minute they moved.

"Crashing comets!" Coiley shouted. "That was a close one!"

"But not as close as this one, my dear boys!" a voice shouted.

Before the Impossibles could react, they were blasted with some kind of ray, picked up, and tossed into the bird cage. Then the cage was picked up, and hung back on it's hook. Then the strange ray blasted the cage once again, and the boys found their wrists had been chained.

"Flying flip side!" Multi shouted. "What happened?"

"I did, fellows," the Knave of Hearts said, coming into the room. "Well, well, well, what have we here? The calvary?"

"Very funny," Fluey said, dryly.

"Who is this, anyway, Fluey?" Multi asked.

"The Knave of Hearts," Fluey said. "He wants me to steal the crown jewels of wonderland for him."

"You won't get far," Coiley said. "Everyone's looking for you!"

"Hence why I need the boy to steal them for me, you fat fool!" the Knave shouted. "He is the only one who can get away with it without being noticed."

"I've told you before, I'm _not_ going to do it!" Fluey shouted. "And nothing you can say or do will change my mind!"

"Is that so?" the Knave of Hearts said, picking up the hour glass from the table. "Well, we'll see about _that._ I'm going to restart your hour, and if you don't change your mind, something unfortunate might happen to your two friends here. I'll let you chew on _that_ for awhile."

And with that, the Knave of Hearts left the room, cackling madly. And, for good measure, the Jabberwocky whacked the cage with his tail.

"Tremblin' transistors!" Coiley shouted. "What do we do, now?"

"Give me a minute, fellas," Multi said, as he reached into his pocket. "I'll have us out of these chains in a . . . . . . uh oh."

"What's wrong?" Fluey asked.

"My sister's bobby pin must've fallen out of my pocket," Multi said. "I don't have it on me anymore."

"Now what?" Coiley asked.

"I don't know," Fluey sighed. "But I wouldn't recommend trying to make an escape, fellas. He's got this chains charged. Looks like the only way out is to agree to steal the jewels for him."

"You can't do that, Fluey!" Multi shouted. "If you do, it'll ruin your reputation as a superhero!"

"And if I don't, who knows what he's gonna do to you guys!" Fluey argued.

"We've got to do _some_thing!" Coiley shouted.

"The question is what," Multi said.

The boys just sat there. It was the only thing they could think of doing. They didn't have any idea of what they could do to get out of this mess


	13. And the Chase is On

It looked hopeless for our three heroes, but looks can be deceiving. Right after the Knave of Hearts imprisoned the Impossibles, he decided to head outside, and make sure no one else was around. As he was looking around, he failed to notice someone walking along the pathway, or rather, _hopping_ along. It was the White Rabbit. The Knave of Hearts may had failed to notice the White Rabbit, but the rabbit had indeed noticed the knave. He ducked behind a bush, and began following the Knave, as he continued back to the castle.

"I'll get those crown jewels yet," the Knave said, opening the castle doors. "I'll get that impudent child to steal them for me. I'll feed his friends to the Jabberwocky if he doesn't! Then, once Wonderland is mine, I'll feed all three of them to the Jabberwocky!"

The White Rabbit gasped, and hopped away as fast as he could toward the forest. He immediately found the White Knight, making his rounds.

"Sir White! Sir White!" he shouted. "Stop! I have news of the utmost importance!"

"What is it, White Rabbit?" the White Knight asked, halting his steed.

"I saw the Knave of Hearts! He went into the former Queen Alice's castle! He said something about feeding someone to the Jabberwocky if he didn't get the Wonderland crown jewels!"

"Those two boys I met . . . . . they were looking for Alice's castle, and their friend . . . . . that must be who the Knave of Hearts meant. Rabbit, you must warn all of Wonderland immediately! I'm off to the former Queen Alice's castle!"

With that, the White Knight pulled on the reins of the horse, and took off down the path toward the castle, while the White Rabbit hopped down the path as fast as he could.

"To arms!" he cried out as he hopped. "To arms!"

Meanwhile, the White Knight went down the path that led to the old castle. Once he arrived, he jerked the reins, and his horse came to a stop.

"Certainly not how I remember it," he said, dismounting. He grabbed his shield, and went directly to the castle doors. He noticed it was unlocked, and slowly went inside.

After making sure the coast was clear, the White Knight slowly made his way down the hall, until he was at the door at the end of it. Thankfully, it was unlocked, so he opened it slowly, so as not to awaken the sleeping Jabberwocky, and looked around. He saw something on the floor, and bent down to pick it up. It was a bobby pin.

"Odd," he said, quietly. "What could this beast have use of this? Rather large cage up there, though. It must house a rather large bird."

As the White Knight was pondering, the Impossibles had a feeling they were being watched, and not by the Jabberwocky. Fluey looked over, and saw the White Knight standing there.

"Uh oh," he said. "We've got another Wonderland Weirdo down there."

"What?" Multi asked, taking a look himself. "Hey, that's no Wonderland Weirdo! That's the White Knight!"

"He helped us find this castle," Coiley said. "Hey, Mr. Knight! Up here!"

"Well, odds bodkins," the White Knight said. "I knew it. If you boys will wait a moment, I shall get you down from there."

"I don't think you can," Fluey said. "This thing's on a hook, and not suspended from the ceiling by a rope or anything like that. Don't ask how we got up here, because we don't even know!"

"Yes, that _could_ be a problem . . . ." the White Knight said, thoughtfully.

"If only I hadn't dropped my sister's bobby pin," Multi sighed.

"Ah ha!" the White Knight shouted (thankfully, he didn't wake up the Jabberwocky). "I have it! Wait right there, boys. I shall return!"

"Wait right there, he says," Fluey groaned, rolling his eyes. "Where are we even _go_ing?"

Moments later, the White Knight returned, with his lance. He ran into the room, jammed his lance into the floor as hard as he could, and flew up to the cage, like a pole vaulter. However, his landing was a bit off, and he wound up crashing right into the top of cage.

WHAM!

The Impossibles cringed at the noise, and immediately looked toward the Jabberwocky. He was still asleep, and the boys sighed with relief upon that.

"Here's the bobby pin," the White Knight said, reaching into the cage to hand Multi the pin.

"Great!" Multi shouted, and he immediately stuck it into the lock on the chains on his wrists, and fiddled until they unlocked. Once he was free, he worked on the locks of Fluey's and Coiley's chains. Then he unlocked the cage door.

"Thanks, Mr. Knight," Multi said, putting his sister's bobby pin into his pocket.

"Come on, let's split," Fluey said. "Before Furnace Breath hears us!"

The Impossibles used their powers to get themselves down, while Multi provided a human ladder for the White Knight. But before they could even reach the door, it suddenly slammed shut, and a maniacal cackle was heard.

"Leaving so soon?" a voice asked. Our heroes turned around, and found the Knave of Hearts standing before them. They heard a growl behind them, and when they turned to look, they found themselves face to face with the Jabberwocky.

"Holy Mesopotamia!" Fluey shouted. "I think we're in big trouble!"

"As always the knight in shining armor, eh, Sir White?" the Knave of Hearts asked, circling our heroes.

"And, as always the scoundrel, eh, Knave?" the White Knight said. "I'm not about to let you get away with what you have done, not only to Wonderland, but to the honor of the former Queen Alice! I know you tricked her into taking the crown jewels!"

"You bore me with your chivalry, knight," the Knave of Hearts said, yawning. Then he turned to the Jabberwocky. "All right, Jabber. Sic 'em!"

The Jabberwocky let out a fierce sounding roar, and lunged. The White Knight, and the Impossibles dashed off in four different directions, hoping to confuse the beast. The Jabberwocky was indeed confused, and looked around the room, trying to figure out what had just happened. He spotted Coiley first, and lunged for him.

"Rally ho!" Coiley shouted, springing upward, causing the Jabberwocky to miss him completely, and smash directly into the wall. Upon landing, Coiley bounced against the monster's head.

The Jabberwocky shook his head to regain his composure, and continued to look for his quarry, spying Multi next. Once again, he lunged at the red-haired hero.

"Rally ho!" Multi shouted, duplicating upward, using his copies to give himself a burst of speed. Once more, the Jabberwocky hit the wall.

After regaining his composure, the Jabberwocky continued searching for his targets. He spotted Fluey in another corner of the room, and, once again, lunged. Fluey saw him coming, and was ready for him this time.

"Rally ho ho!" he shouted, immediately converting into liquid. He blasted forward, and gave the Jabberwocky a good sock in the snout, then he flowed away from the monster.

The Jabberwocky looked around, highly confused. The Knave of Hearts was growing more frustrated by the minute. He walked over to his monster, and smacked him in the nose.

"What's the matter with you, you stupid overgrown lizard?!" he shouted. "Can't you even catch three teenage boys?! I don't know why I even put up with you! All you ever do is lie around and sleep, and then, when I give you even the _simplest_ thing to do, you can't even do it right!"

The Knave smacked the Jabberwocky again, oblivious to the fact that this might not have been such a good idea. The Jabberwocky began growling at the Knave.

"Hey!" the Knave shouted, nervously, as he began backing up. "Don't look at me like that! I'm your master! You have to obey my every word! Don't look at me like that! Don't look at me like that!"

The Jabberwocky managed to back the Knave into the corner, and then he let out a fierce roar. Then, without another word, he grabbed the Knave of Hearts in his mouth, and swallowed him whole.

_GULP!_

"Eeeeehhhhh . . . . ." Fluey said, cringing. "What a way to go. Swallowed by a giant lizard!"

"Hopefully, that will have soothed the beast," the White Knight said. "Now then, boys, shall we take our leave?"

But before our heroes could leave, the door flung open, and in came the White Rabbit, the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, the Dormouse, the King and Queen of Hearts, the Red Queen, and the White Queen burst into the room.

"Knave of Hearts!" the King of Hearts shouted, practically at the top of his lungs. "You're under arrest!"

"Off with his head!" the Queen of Hearts shouted.

"You're a little late for that, your majesty," Coiley said. "The Knave of Hearts has been taken care of already."

"Yeah," Fluey said. "Yeecchhh!"

"But what about the Jabberwocky?" Multi asked.

"I wouldn't worry about him," Fluey said. "It's obvious he's on our side now, what with digesting the Knave of Hearts and all. Aren't ya, big fella?"

The Jabberwocky snarled, and turned toward the dark-haired Impossible. He began growling again, coming toward him with a hungry look in his eye.

"Hey, man, wait a minute!" Fluey shouted. "I thought you were on our side!"

"I don't think he's on anybody's side, Fluey . . . . ." Coiley said, nervously retreating.

"Yeah, man, I think you're right," Fluey said. "Run for it!"

And with a great roar, the Jabberwocky lunged at our heroes, spitting out flames. Everyone panicked, and began running for their lives. Fluey converted into liquid, and tried to douse the monster's flames, but they were too strong for him to handle.

"No way I can handle it," he said. "It's like he's got a pilot light that just won't go out!"

"Off with it's head!" the Queen of Hearts shouted, bopping the monster's nose with her scepter. "Do you hear me? OFF WITH IT'S HEAD I SAY!"

"Take that!" the Mad Hatter shouted, hitting the beast with his hat repeatedly. "And that! And that, and that, and that, and that!"

The Jabberwocky turned around and snapped at the hatter, nearly taking off his hat, as well as his hand. The Hatter let out a scream, and ran off in the other direction. The rest of the Wonderland residents began hitting the beast with whatever they could find, but the monster just pushed past them. It seemed to have only one thing in mind.

"Hollerin' hi-fi's!" Multi shouted. "That thing's coming right toward us!"

"Scatter!" Coiley shouted.

The boys used their powers and separated in three different directions. The Jabberwocky was a little confused at first, and sniffed around the room. Then, he saw Fluey, and centered his attention on him. Immediately, Fluey converted into his fluid form, socked the Jabberwocky in the snout once more, and shot away. But no matter how he maneuvered, the Jabberwocky was right on him.

"Man, that thing's harder to lose than a summer cold!" Fluey shouted, regrouping with Multi and Coiley. "I can't shake him!"

"Call me crazy, but I think he might be after you specifically, Fluey," Coiley said.

"I could understand that if he was working for the Knave of Hearts," Fluey said. "Don't tell me this thing wants those jewels, too!"

"No, I don't think so," Multi said. "I think the Jabberwocky _knows_ you're Ms. Hart's great-nephew!"

"_What?!_" Fluey shouted, incredulously. "You gotta be kidding!"

"No, I think Multi's right!" Coiley shouted. "We found out a couple of things about this strange case, Fluey. Ms. Hart's Big D's sister, and since you're Big D's grandson . . . . ."

"That makes Ms. Hart my great-aunt," Fluey said. "Yeah, that part I can understand. But _why_ is it hunting down _me_?!"

"We found out that the Jabberwocky is something created out of Ms. Hart's fears," Coiley explained. "And that thing won't go away until she overcomes them."

"Somehow or another, that thing must know you're a relative of Ms. Hart's," Multi said. "But I don't know why it's coming after you, Fluey!"

"Well, if it's after me, then I'll just have to do something about it!" Fluey shouted.

Before Multi and Coiley could stop him, Fluey converted into liquid, and flew toward the Jabberwocky's feet.

"Hey tall, dark, and gruesome!" he shouted at the beast. "Come and get me! Rally ho ho!"

Fluey converted into liquid, and shot off into another room. The Jabberwocky roared, and followed him. The dark-haired Impossible led the monster on a merry chase throughout the old castle. Fluey was hoping to tire the monster out, but instead, _he_ was the one who was starting to tire out. Finally, he had to stop. The Jabberwocky closed in, and was about to grab him, when suddenly, the White Knight appeared.

"Never fear!" he shouted. "The White Knight is here!"

"Hey, whoa, hold it!" Fluey shouted. "You've gotta split, man, that thing's liable to tear you apart!"

"Tis a knight's duty to slay beasts such as these," the White Knight said, brandishing his sword. Then he turned to the Jabberwocky.

"And now, foul beast," he said. "Have at you!"

The White Knight began swinging his sword at the Jabberwocky. Coiley and Multi ran into the room shortly afterward.

"You okay, Fluey?" Multi asked.

"Yeah," Fluey said. "But I don't think I'll ever be able to outrun that Jabberwocky thing. And I don't think the White Knight will ever be able to out fight it!"

The boys watched as the White Knight continued swinging his sword at the Jabberwocky. The monster let out a fierce roar, grabbed the knight's sword in his mouth, and bit it in two.

"We've got to help him!" Multi shouted.

"Right," Coiley said. "Leave it to me, fellas. Rally ho!"

Coiley sprang forward with all his might, and plowed feet first directly into the side of the beast's head. The force of the hit managed to knock the Jabberwocky off his feet.

"That should give us some time to get out of here!" Coiley said, helping the White Knight to his feet.

"Yes, I agree," the White Knight said. "When all else fails, RUN!"

And with that, the foursome ran down a corridor as fast as they could. The Jabberwocky shook his head out, roared, and chased after them. It wasn't going to be easy to get away from this monster, that was for sure


	14. And They Lived Happily Ever After

The foursome ran into a corridor, and looked behind them. It looked like they had lost the Jabberwocky, but they didn't know for how long.

"We'll never shake that thing!" Fluey shouted, breathlessly. "What are we going to do?"

Before the others could answer, Coiley spotted a picture on the wall. It was of an owl, identical to the one he and Multi had seen in Ms. Hart's house. Quickly, he sprang over to it.

"Mr. Owl, you've got to help us!" he shouted. "We don't know what to do!"

"You're asking me?" the owl said. "After all, it's Alice Dawson who must conquer the beast."

"But _how_?! She's not even here!"

"You'll find a way."

And with that, the picture became as it once was. Just a picture.

"That was a lot of help," Fluey said, sarcastically. "_Now_ what?"

"I guess we keep going," Multi said, glancing around the corner. "Furnace Breath isn't around, but I don't want to stand around here and wait for him!"

"Here, here!" the White Knight agreed.

The foursome continued along the corridors, looking for a way out of this creepy castle. They reached what looked like a dead end, with a large mirror on the wall. But suddenly, the image in the mirror morphed, and showed what looked like Ms. Hart's parlor. They also saw Impossi-Pup standing there, barking.

"Hey, that might be our way out!" Multi shouted.

"Come on!" Coiley shouted, and then he sprang forward. "Rally ho!"

"Rally ho!" Multi shouted, duplicating himself toward the frame.

"Rally ho ho!" Fluey shouted, converting into the liquid, and zooming ahead.

"Charge!" the White Knight shouted, and climbed through the frame after the boys.

After climbing through the frame, Impossi-Pup barked happily, and zoomed straight for her red-haired master, knocking him off his feet, and smothering him with puppy kisses.

"Okay, Skittles, okay!" he shouted. "I'm glad to see you, too! Down, girl!"

"What in heavens name is going on in here?" Ms. Hart asked, coming into the room.

Before anyone could answer, a loud roar came from the mirror. It was the Jabberwocky, and it looked like it was going to come through the mirror any second. Ms. Hart let out a scream of terror.

"Fear not, my lady!" the White Knight shouted. "I shall save you!"

"How are you gonna do that?" Fluey asked. "That thing ate your sword, remember?"

"Oh, yes, I forgot," the White Knight said.

"Even the three of us can't take it out," Coiley said. "And we've tried!"

"Ms. Hart, you're the only one who can get rid of that thing!" Multi shouted.

"_Me_?!" Ms. Hart shouted. "What makes you think _I_ can . . . . ."

"Because the owl said it's a figment of your imagination!" Coiley shouted. "He said if you don't conquer your fear of it, it'll never go away!"

"I . . . . I don't know . . . ." Ms. Hart started to say, nervously.

The Jabberwocky let out a fierce roar, reached through the mirror, and snatched Fluey in his claws. Fluey tried to go into a conversion to escape, but like before, the Jabberwocky blew some of his smoke in the dark-haired Impossible's face, causing him to lose consciousness.

"What's it going to do with him?" Ms. Hart asked, nervously.

"Swallow him whole most likely," Multi said. "That's what he did to the Knave of Hearts."

"Please, Ms. Hart, you've got to do something!" Coiley shouted. "Only you can defeat it! The owl said it came out of your mind, after all!"

"I can't!" Ms. Hart shouted. "I'm too afraid of it! Imagine what it would do to me if I do!"

"And imagine what Big D would do to you if you don't," Coiley said.

"What?" Ms. Hart asked. "What do you mean?"

"We didn't want to mention this, Ms. Hart, but you'd probably find this out sooner or later," Multi explained. "Fluey's your great-nephew, only we didn't know it until we found out our chief is your brother."

"Oh dear . . . . ." Ms. Hart said. "Do you mean to tell me your friend is my brother's grandson?"

"You guessed it," Coiley said.

Ms. Hart just looked at the boys, and then at the Jabberwocky. She swallowed hard, and then walked toward the monster, grabbing an umbrella from a nearby stand. Once she reached the Jabberwocky, she whacked it in the nose with the umbrella as hard as she could.

"Go away!" she shouted. "You can't frighten me anymore! You're nothing more than a figment of my imagination! You don't even exist! I don't believe in you, do you hear me?! I don't believe in you!"

Ms. Hart whacked the Jabberwocky with the umbrella a couple more times. The Jabberwocky let out a screech, and dropped Fluey immediately. Once the dark-haired Impossible hit the ground, he began to come to his senses.

"Wow, what a trip," he groaned. He shook his head to regain his composure, and saw the creature reaching for him again. He was still a little too disoriented to go into a conversion.

"Back!" Ms. Hart shouted, whacking the Jabberwocky's hand (or paw, or whatever it was) with her umbrella. "Back you beast! I already told you, you don't even exist! Now go away!"

The Jabberwocky found itself surrounded by smoke. Lightning flashed, and thunder crashed, while the Jabberwocky screeched loudly. Finally, the screeches died down, and the smoke started to clear. Once it dispersed completely, the Jabberwocky was gone, and the mirror reverted back to it's normal form. Impossi-Pup barked, and raced at it, sniffing it, and pawing at it. All she could see in it was her own reflection.

"Boy," Fluey said, heaving a sigh of relief. "Am I ever glad _that's _over!"

"So am I, boys," the White Knight said.

"Uh oh, looks like we forgot one slight detail," Coiley said, once he realized the White Knight was there with the group. "How are we going to get the White Knight back to Wonderland?"

"Now who said I _want_ to go back to Wonderland?" the White Knight asked, looking at Ms. Hart. "I might be happier here than I ever would be there."

"You know something?" Ms. Hart asked, taking the White Knight's hand. "So would I. I knew I should have chosen you over the Knave of Hearts, Sir Victor. I don't know why I didn't. Come on, boys. We need you to come with us."

"What for?" Coiley asked.

"Yeah, where are we going?" Fluey asked.

"The Weschester-on-Worschester Justice of the Peace," Ms. Hart said, "to make this official. We'll need you boys as witnesses."

Shortly thereafter, the Impossibles, the White Knight, and Ms. Hart were standing before the Justice of the Peace at the Weschester-on-Worschester courthouse, and had a quick wedding ceremony (about as quick as Ms. Hart's first wedding ceremony).

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the Justice of the Peace said. "I am proud to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Victor Knight."

The Impossibles applauded, and the quintet left the courthouse and walked over to the Impossi-Mobile.

"Thanks for everything, boys," Ms. Hart (or rather, Mrs. Knight) said. "Though I'm sorry to have gotten you mixed up in my own troubles."

"I'm just glad it all worked out," Multi said.

"Though Big D is never gonna believe _this_ one!" Fluey shouted.

"I know," Mrs. Knight sighed.

"Well, we've got to get going," Fluey said. "See you around, Ms. Hart . . . . . uhhh, I mean Aunt Alice."

And with that, the Impossibles started up the Impossi-Jet, and took off for Megatropolis. They had to report to Big D about the case being solved, even though they just _knew_ he'd never believe what had happened.

The End


End file.
